The Teenager Within
by FanFicQueenieTLA
Summary: This is the teenage love story of Jax and Tara, everything we wanted to know that we never got the chance to.
1. Chapter 1

SOA Fan Fic - Teenage Jax & Tara. **Disclaimer: I own nothing and all rights go to SOA.**

* * *

"Fuck you!" Tara screams. It's the first of January and she's freezing. She came to see Charming's yearly New Years firework display, but forgot to put on enough warm clothing in her haste to get out of the house, and away from her Dad. The fireworks have ended now, all the parents and young children have gone home, only the teenagers remain running rampant and abusing each other. Tara has been crying all evening. Sobbing, even. She's exhausted, she came to the fireworks to just escape for a few hours.

Now, Jax Teller, the wise ass little shit, keeps throwing fireworks at her.

"I didn't quite hear you, darlin'!" He shouts, a cocky grin on his face as he launches another firework. Tara darts out the way, screaming as she does. It explodes as it hits the tree behind her. She turns to look at the damaged tree, open mouthed, then her temper flares and she turns to glare at Teller.

"What is your problem?!" She marches towards him, he launches another and it narrowly misses her but this time she doesn't flinch, doesn't make a sound, she continues to storm towards him, all she can feel is anger. _When I get to him,_ she thinks _, I'm going to shove one up his fucking ass and watch him explode._

He's laughing and Tara slightly falters at just how good looking Jax is, she's known him her whole life, and yet whenever he's smiling, really smiling, he always manages to throw her off guard. When she sees him pick up another firework though, she pulls herself together.

She reaches him, he's still laughing, lighting another, without a moments hesitation, she smacks it out of his hands just before the fuse takes and kicks over his shitty little box of fireworks, stamping on them in pure anger. She destroys them all. He's laughing so much his head is thrown back in joy.

Tara's anger dissipates a little at the sight of a carefree, happy Jax, then she remembers that Satan was once an angel too and just because he's laughing, isn't cause for distraction.

"You ruined my fireworks," he says simply, before she can shout at him, his laughter halted, but he's grinning like a boy who can do no wrong.

"Are you a serial killer now?" Tara asks. If looks could kill, she would have struck him down.

His grin gets wider. "Maybe?" Jax puts his hands on her hips and pulls her in close, their faces inches apart, she's so shocked that she freezes. "Does that excite you, babe?" His voice is husky. She blinks, lost, in awe, in anger, wanting to kiss him, wanting to push him away - she's a walking contradiction. Then she remembers it's _Jax Telle_ r, she shoves his biceps hard, he stumbles back. He's so shocked he can't help but laugh, she turns on her heel and storms away from him.

"Come on, Tara!" He calls, jogging to catch up with her. "I stopped you crying at least. Didn't I?" He falls into step as she continues to stomp away.

Tara blushes and thanks God it's dark so he can't really see her. She came to the park at _night_ so no one could see her crying, not for notorious _bad boy_ Jax Teller to try and stop her. She holds back a groan of embarrassment.

Then it hits her, she turns and spins to face him, "by trying to kill me?!" She asks, incredulous, her eyebrow raised, hands on hips. The sight of her, a match for his anger, makes Jax annoyingly happy.

"Are you dead?" He laughs again. "You seem very alive to me. Energetic even."

Tara can't think of anything to say, so she turns and stomps away again, Jax follows, swaggering by her side at ease. Other teenagers throw them looks as they walk together, and though she would never admit it, it pleases Tara that people might think Jax likes her.

"Hey brother!" A voice calls, Jax and Tara look to their left to see Opie, a big boy with a big walk, especially for the age of sixteen, is lumbering towards them.

She doesn't know why, but she stops and waits with Jax for Opie to reach them. Jax is standing close to her, boarding on invading her personal space and she's enjoying it. She can feel the heat rolling off him on this chilly night, it makes her feel warm inside.

"We gotta go." Opie says when he gets to them, "we're needed at the clubhouse." He looks from Tara to Jax. Tara looks livid, there's a slight blush on her cheeks. Jax looks amused. Opie shrugs, thinking it's wiser to say nothing.

Jax nods once at Opie, something twinkling his eyes. Suddenly, so fast, Tara isn't even sure it's happening, Jax kisses her on the forehead. "Laters babe," He winks at her. Then he and Opie head for the carpark with Tara staring after them.

It takes her a while to compose herself. What exactly was Jax playing at? She's known him for years, but she wouldn't exactly say they're friends anymore. They used to be, Tara thought she actually had a good influence on him, that she was the reason he would come to school. Now she was lucky when they exchanged comments on books they'd read, or suggested books to each other, sometimes Tara would tease Jax for dumbing himself down when she knew he was smarter. But friends? That they were no longer.

They had become too different, she was too good, she wanted to learn. Jax had become more of a bad boy, he thought school was a mockery, a waste of time, he didn't need it. For Tara, it was her way out.

Jax had changed when his baby brother died last year, he didn't show up for school for an entire month after, she had tried to see him but she wasn't allowed. The club would never let her in the clubhouse, said it as family only, and Opie would never give her any information on how Jax was doing. They had so many arguments that Tara had taken to ignoring Opie all together, knowing he wouldn't tell her shit. Then he also stopped showing up to school for a couple of weeks.

When Jax finally came back, he was drunk and/or smoking pot all the time. It appalled Tara, knowing first hand what happens to someone when they become dependent on drugs or alcohol to lessen their pain. She didn't feel sorry for, or pity Jax, she wanted to hit him. At least, that's what she told herself, she knew he would hate pity, hate someone to feel sorry for him, so she bit down those emotions, but she couldn't help be concerned for him, his dependency on drugs, his careless manor.

Jax lashed out at her, told her to shove her concern where it was wanted, told her to go and look after someone who needed her, go and take care of her alcoholic father. He said it in front of the whole school, and they all laughed at her. She was humiliated and couldn't understand why he was desperate to push her away.

Then the girls started, he was always seen kissing multiple girls in a day, and that made her blood boil. The Jax she knew was too smart, too intelligent, to let mindless bimbos entertain him. When she pointed this out to him, he started making out with them against her locker. They wouldn't move until the last warning bell, no matter how much she shouted and pushed, making her late for nearly all her classes.

Then his daddy died, and Tara didn't see Jax for two months. How he was allowed to come back to school after missing so much time off bewildered her, and when he came back he was bloody and bruised, he had cut all his long locks off, he had black eyes from bruising and no sleep, he looked gaunt, hollow but somehow was still as handsome as ever.

She tried to talk to him, but he told her they weren't friends anymore. That he didn't have time for girls like her, who thought they were better than him and his family. He stopped kissing girls against her locker, he stopped making time for her, he didn't mock her, didn't sit next to her in any classes, he stopped acting like she existed and she did the same for him. That was a year ago.

They haven't really spoken since. Until today.

Tara used to pride herself on the fact she looked past his family's power, and his good looks, she liked to think she saw a deeper Jax, that there was a connection between them both. But half the time she concluded that she didn't really know much about Jax Teller at all, if not the same amount as everyone else in Charming. But tonight, he was the old Jax she used to know and she couldn't even ask him; what's happened? What's changed?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey - these are gonna be coming pretty hard and fast! Let me know what you think! **DISCLAIMER; I own nothing of this content.**

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The next day at school, things are even weirder. In first period, Jax arrives early, something unheard of, it causes a few whispers and stares. Then, he takes the usually empty seat next to Tara. Everyone's eyes are on him in amazement. Tara's row is the middle of the class, Jax Teller doesn't sit in the middle of the class, that's not where bad boys go. A few of the girls look disapprovingly at Tara, some even look at her with violence in their eyes. Jax glares them down.

The seat on her left is taken by her only friend, David Hale, who she's in a conversation with about To Kill A Mockingbird, the latest book they're reading for school, it's so intense she doesn't even notice Jax, or the looks she's getting.

Jax listens carefully as the conversation gets heated, David and Tara have different opinions about the meaning of the story, and Jax can hear Tara's temper flaring, her voice more urgent and higher pitched as she argues her point, it makes him grin. He has to admit to himself that he thinks Tara has a valid point, and Hale is just talking out of his ass, he's just _trying_ to sound intelligent. That has nothing to do with his prejudice over Hale though, even if the guy does think he's better than everyone else.

As the last bell goes, signalling the beginning of class, Opie strolls in - he raises an eyebrow at Jax's new seating arrangement, Jax gives a little shake of his head, as if to say; _don't ask, brother_. Opie shrugs it off and sits in his usual seat at the back of the class, Jax's seat next to him remains empty even after the class is full - it's a sign of respect, how scared people are of him and how in awe they are - it makes Jax feel like a king.

The teacher does a roll call, and it isn't until Jax drawls "here" that Tara notices he's next to her. She turns to glare at him, still mad about his antics the night before. Jax gives her his signature smile that has the rest of the teenage girls in this school melting, Tara just roles her eyes and gives a little shake of her head, before focusing her attention on the teacher, this only makes him warm to her more.

Jax doesn't know what changed. After Thomas died, he hated Tara, hated her light, hated how she saw through his bullshit. He wanted to be bad, and he knew she wouldn't let him. He didn't know how to get her to just leave him the fuck alone, so he went around hurting her every way he could think how. Then his dad died, and he didn't see her for two months. When he came back to school he realised he just didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything but the club and it's members, his family. So, he didn't speak to her, and vowed to never go near a prissy bitch like Tara, but stick to the girls who did nothing for him.

Then two weeks ago she was in the boxing gym, she was beating the shit out of another girl, there was sweat dripping from her and she had a cut on her eyebrow, her eyes were concentrating on her opponent. Jax watched on, and lust hit him like it never had before, suddenly he remembered who Tara was. The fighter, the survivor, the only girl he'd ever really spoken to that had seen him for who he was, it was like all that other shit didn't matter - like he had to get to know her again, be near her again, being a bad boy wasn't enough anymore. Especially since he and Ope' were already Prospects, they already had their cuts, he was gonna be the youngest ever to be patched-in when he was eighteen. He needed to stop fucking around, behaving like a kid all the time. It was time to man up.

"Stop staring at me." Tara demands Jax, drawing him out of his thoughts. Tara throws a fugitive look at their teacher to make sure he isn't listening.

"I'm not." Jax says too quickly, and Tara smiles because she knows she's caught him. "What are you doing after school?" He asks.

She blinks at him, "I work on Mondays, Wednesday's and Friday's." She says before she even knows what she's saying - what is it about him that stops her from being able to control herself?

Jax didn't know this, he didn't think she could surprise him anymore. "You work?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"The library."

Jax grins, if there was a better place for her, he couldn't think of it. They have a mutual understanding that you get a lot of knowledge from reading, it's the only form of conversation they have had in the last year. For the both of them, it was a shitty way of keeping the connection alive.

"What time you get off?" Jax asks.

Tara frowns at him, she doesn't understand where this is going. "Eight-Thirty."

Jax nods and leans back in his seat, he smiles, mischief all over him.

"What are you planning, Teller?" She demands to know.

"Nothin'" he shrugs. They hold eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time, trying to figure each other out. Their looks mirror each other, David notices all this and feels uncomfortably like they're having a conversation without actually speaking. It's weird, intense, he feels like he's spying on something private.

"Are you two done with your pissing contest or should I give you another minute?" Mr. Bell interrupts them, David quickly looks away before anyone notices he's watching them. Mr. Bell is standing in front of Jax, glaring at him, not even looking at Tara. Of course Tara isn't to blame, Jax rolls his eyes and turns them to his teacher, a small smirk on his lips. "It's all good." Jax sits up so he's not slouching and salutes Mr. Bell. A few classmates snigger, even Tara stifles a laugh.

"Watch yourself, Teller." Mr. Bell says, turning and walking back to the front of the class.

"He still walks like he's got a stick up his ass." Jax murmurs to Tara, at this, she does laugh. Mr. Bell turns to look at them but they both pull, what they hope, is neutral faces. Their teacher doesn't comment and Tara lets out a small relieved sigh, Jax falls back into his slouching position, Tara tunes into their teachers lecture, Jax goes to every effort to tune out the monotone voice of Mr. Bell.

He really wouldn't come to school if Gemma didn't insist, now that he was Prospect he knew he would be dropping out soon anyway, Clay, his step-dad, the head of SAMCRO, would need him all the time. Gemma would lose this battle, and finally he could stop pretending there was a reason for him to be here.

He throws a sideway glance at Tara, she's emerged in her text book, scrawling notes. What if he did have a reason to come to school? Would he want to? There's no way he'd be able to sell wanting to come to school for academic purposes, and there's no way they'd let him come for pussy, they'd think it was a distraction, a lure from the club.

Tara looks up at him suddenly, like she could feel him looking at her, she frowns but he doesn't back down and smiles, turning the full force of his baby-blues on her. After a minute, she rolls her eyes and gets back to writing her notes, she notices Jax doesn't write a single note the entire class.

She really does wonder when the time will come that he will stop showing up, he doesn't want to come to school, we all know he doesn't need to, the MC have everything he needs. He's never gonna leave Charming, he never has to, he doesn't have a deadbeat dad and no mother, he's got an entire army for a family. Tara is completely alone. The need to leave this town is like a fire that can't be put out, it ignites her bones. The day she says goodbye to this cestpool will be the happiest day of her life.

The class feels like the slowest and longest of both their lives, neither want it to end because they're not in their next class together, and both of them want a time out from the intense feelings they're having. Every fibre of both their brings us acutely aware of the other, it's exhausting, and yet neither of them can remember a time when it _wasn't_ like that.

When the bell rings, Jax jumps up and heads to the door, Opie not far behind. Tara packs her bag slowly, reeling from the class - now he's gone, it's like she can think coherently again. She might have looked like she was doing work, but her entire focus was on Jax, and what he was doing.

She stares after him. What was that about? Did Jax want to be friends? Was he flirting with her or was she imagining it? Did he want to know what time she finished work so he could come and see her? She hated that the idea horrified her and excited her at the same time, she felt like her hopes were getting up at the idea Jax would do something like that, and she knew it would only end in disappointment.

"So," David draws out the word, and brings her attention to him, "you and Teller, huh?"

Tara turns to look at him. "Don't make this a thing, David."

He comes close, so no one else can hear, throwing a look around to ensure no one is listening. "He's bad news Tara, you know he's a Prospect now, he's a fully fledged member of the MC. They're not the heroes some people think they are."

"I don't even know if we're friends, I think he's just trying to make a mends" even as she says it, she doesn't believe it.

"You're smart Tara, so be smart." With that he leaves her standing by her desk, staring after him.

* * *

"What's going on with you and Tara?" Opie asks as he and Jax sit on their bikes for a smoke.

Jax shakes his head, fiddling with the handlebars, his head ducked so he doesn't have to look at Opie, he shrugs "I don't know, man."

"Gemma won't be happy if the first girl you pursue in a relationship way is the daughter of Charming's drunk."

Jax's head snaps up at his best friend, there's fury on his face. "Gemma can't say shit about who I hang around with, in a relationship or otherwise. She married Clay before my father was cold." He pauses. "I can handle my mother."

Opie shrugs, he can't be bothered with Jax's mood swings today, "whatever brother, just be careful."

"Yeah bro." Jax says, hopping up from the bike. Whatever that means. they head to their next class slowly, already late.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 SOA FANFIC. **DISCLAIMER: ALL RIGHTS GO TO SOA.**

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Tara doesn't see Jax again until lunch, she sits with David and his soccer buddies as usual but she's alert, looking for Jax. She knows that he and Opie always go out for a smoke before they enter the cafeteria, and she realises, with a start, that she has never not been aware of Jax.

When they enter, Jax scans the hall until his eyes find hers, then he looks at David and all his buddies.

Tara sees the surprise on his face, like he didn't expect her to be hanging out with them. But who else would she sit with? David was the only one who didn't see her as some drunks daughter, and he sure as shit didn't let the rest of the boys say a bad word about her. Besides they always throw good after-game parties, everyone knows that. Not like the ones Jax is used to, with drugs, alcohol, pornstars and Crow Eaters. But normal teenage ones, the kind you see in films.

Tara watches as Jax sits at his usual table, Opie his ever present shadow is right beside him as they take their seats. Already at the table is Lowell and Kyle, there are a few girls there - Wendy, Donna, Sarah, Jenny. Jax sits next to Wendy, she smiles up at him and kisses him on the mouth. It makes Tara feel jealous - a feeling she isn't familiar with and doesn't know how to handle. She looks away quickly.

"I told you" David whispers in her ear, "he's bad news." When he meets her eyes he winks at her, then he throws an arm over her shoulder and pulls her into his side. She knows, without a doubt, he's doing it to make Jax jealous and she smiles at him. Not that she thinks it will work.

"You're a good friend, Hale. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," he laughs. "I do."

Tara doesn't turn to look at Jax for the rest of lunch. When Hale has to move his arm in order to open a container with chocolate mousse, she doesn't move away from his side and she prays that Jax is looking.

He is. Wendy is wrapped around him like a vine, and all he can see is Tara pressed into Hale's side, it makes him want to pummel that too-good pricks face even more than before. He wonders if in the last year they've had a thing, if David has ever kissed her? He doesn't like the jealousy he feels coursing through him, the rage that seeps from his skin with a necessity to get out via violence.

Despite all of Wendy's efforts, he can't peel his eyes away from Tara and the schools jock. It kills him to know how good of a pair they are, both academic, both good looking, Tara used to be on the cheerleading squad but dropped out in ninth grade, both want to leave Charming, both interested in books. Jax's fists clench. With a tut, he realises they could easily be Prom King and Queen, something he would never be, or have an interest in. Is that what Tara was in to? Does he even know her as well as he thinks he does?

He turns his face away from a laughing Tara, whatever Hale just said to her is apparently hilarious.

"Let's bounce, Ope." Jax suddenly says, his eyes are dark and he looks like he's trying to contain his inner rage. Opie loves Jax, but he can be real scary sometimes. "I've got History and G.R.E next and I ain't interested." Jax says, as if that's the explanation.

Opie makes a point of looking at Tara and David, then nods, not voicing whatever he's thinking, Jax doesn't comment either as they both stand and head out. Opie smirks as he notices Tara watch them leave, her shoulders slumping a bit. Though he's a bit disappointed because he wanted to spend the rest of lunch with Donna, a girl he's become fond of, but doesn't know how to voice, and he had Mathematics with her next, but he didn't want to risk Jax beating Hale to a pulp. Besides, they can be doing loads more productive shit as Prospects then they can in this dump.

* * *

They ride into the garage and Gemma meets them as they park their bikes with a stony glare. "Decide you didn't wanna stay the rest of the day?" She's got her hands on her hips, that means trouble.

"Relax, Ma." Jax says taking of his helmet and standing up, stretching out his back. "It was History and G.R.E, when am I ever gonna need them in SAMCRO?" he gives her a kiss on the cheek in greeting.

"There is nothing wrong with being educated, Jackson." Her voice is firm, she eyes her son warily.

"Which is why I still go when I don't need to." He says to her, walking away, he's not in the mood for Gemma today.

He nods to Opie to move in the direction of the Clubhouse, let them find Clay and do something useful with the day. Get his mind off everything else, take it off Tara and Hale. His mom stares after him, Jax can feel her eyes boring into his back but he doesn't care, today isn't about her.

Clay wastes no time getting them into duties. Jax doesn't comment as he mops up blood from the garage floor, nor does he say anything about the fact the garage is closed today. A Monday, their busiest day. He notices none of the club, except for Clay and Gemma, are around, but he doesn't question it. A good Prospect knows his place.

He laughs when Clay makes Opie sort out the overflowing toilet, and cringes when Clay makes him change the cum-stained sheets of the dorm in the clubhouse. Being Prospect is way less glamorous then he imagined, but as long as it gets him to where he wants to be, he doesn't care.

He doesn't even notice the entire day has gone and it's six o'clock until Gemma tells them to get home and get washed for dinner. Jax snaps to it, eager for dinner to be over so he can go and meet Tara after work. His anger has lessened, but he still has to know if something has happened with her and Hale, if something _is_ happening. He's not sure he can respectfully bow-out if it is, since seeing her in the gym, the raw anger she had, the darkness she was emanating, he's been consumed by her. That's the only way to describe it, she's taking over his every waking thought and she's not even done anything yet, they haven't even kissed.

Dinner is over quicker then he thought it would be, Clay and Gemma can't keep their hands off each other, and though it's disgusting and in his dad's house, Jax is happy that they're distracting each other. He can escape before the nightly Prospect duties, he already knows he's going to 'accidentally' leave his phone at home so they can't call. He knows it's bad, but tonight Tara is more important. The thought causes him to stop mid-step, he almost trips over his own feet as he enters his room. _More important then SAMCRO? The M.C? A girl? Is he losing his mind?_

He leans over the sink in the bathroom, splashing water on his face, then he presses his face to the mirror, eyeing himself. He looks much better then he did when his daddy died, his blonde hair has grown back, he has no bruises or cuts because he doesn't get into bare knuckle fights anymore. His face isn't gaunt and skinny because his only diet isn't alcohol. He still feels the loss of his father everyday, but Ope' was right - he was killing himself, and his mother too. Sometimes, when he's alone, he sits and he laughs at the irony of his father dealing guns and being Prez, but being wiped out by a mechanical error of his bike. It's at these times he wonders if he's gone insane.

When he first got back to school he thought he'd never be able to feel emotion again, he was numb and the only emotion to ever surface was rage. Now, he was consumed daily by everything. He 's not sure how to handle it. Laughter feels wrong, like a betrayal to his brother, but he's happier and he knows it. He knows he should live for them, but sometimes he feels so guilty acid burns in his throat. Survivors guilt, Tara had called it on one of her many lectures, before he finally pushed her away. He wished he thought it was that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: all rights go to SOA**

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Tara leaves the library at twenty-to-nine and she's exhausted. She didn't get to have the Cutlass today, her Daddy and the car were gone yesterday and haven't come back. She's walked all over town, her legs feel heavy, her feet are blistered, and the idea of walking home is making her want to cry. She closes and locks the library door slowly, she doesn't have the energy to rush.

"Hi, Darlin'" a voice from behind her makes her jump, her blood pounding in her ears. She turns to see Jax standing against his bike, smoking a cigarette.

"Jax?" She squints, even though she knows damn well it's him. She's leaning against the door, the keys clutched to her chest through her fear. A thousand things ran through her mind just then, but thinking it was Jax waiting for her, was not one of them.

"Yeah, baby" he swaggers over to her, throwing the cigarette butt to the ground. He gives her the smile she's only ever seen when he looks at her, she truly thinks it could burn the sun from the inside.

"What are you doing here Jax?" Her eyes narrow.

"I wanted to see you." He's closing the gap between them, now her heart really _is_ pumping, butterflies attack her stomach. He actually came.

"Uh-huh" she says, cocking an eyebrow, he stops walking towards her at the sound of disbelief in her voice.

"Nah, you're right, I just like hanging outside of libraries at night. It has nothing to do with you, babe."

She laughs and he loves it. Then he remembers that Hale made her laugh today too, and his mood shifts. Tara senses it before she even sees it, he hasn't moved, so she closes the gap for him, standing directly in front of him.

"What's wrong?" She asks, her eyes searching his.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. She feels like she's died a thousand deaths by the time he looks at her. "Is there something going on with you and Hale?" He asks, Tara resists the urge to laugh, he looks so serious, but she can't help smiling at him.

"No." Her voice is amused but firm. She can't believe it worked, what a genius David is.

"Has anything ever happened with you and him?"

She wraps her arms around his neck, he's staring down at her. She doesn't know why she's so bold, why she's like this with Jax, but she's comfortable. Somehow, and she truly doesn't know how, she knows he won't reject her, this is how it's meant to be.

"We kissed once, at a party." She answers truthfully. "It was months ago, we were both drunk."

Something flashes across Jax's face, is it jealousy? "Just a kiss?"

She blushes and looks away from Jax's eyes, "it got a bit heated, we were grinding off each other. David stopped it. He's my best friend, I think he didn't want to ruin that."

Jax grunts, Hale would have to be an idiot, gay or blind if he didn't like Tara. He's already the first one in Jax's eyes, but Jax knew he wasn't the second two. He stares down at Tara, she gazes back at him.

It's odd, to have spent your whole life knowing someone, and feel connected to them in a way you didn't know you could connect to another human. Just looking at her, Jax feels like their are invisible tentacles stretching out from his body to her, gluing themselves to her soul, and fusing them both into one. He becomes painfully aware that as long as he lives, he will always know of Tara's existence. It's almost like an out of body experience. Tara feels very much the same, they're both one piece each of a whole puzzle.

And then, they were kissing, just like that. It's forceful, passionate, wild, wet and messy. Jax backs her up against the library door, his hands roaming all over her, she pushes her body close to his, her hands clawing at his back to make sure they physically can't get any closer. It is like the months, years, the past, present and future is being thrown into this one kiss, and neither of them want it to ever stop.

Jax paws at her breasts, eager to get a feel, and when his fingers catch her nipple, Tara groans. The sound sends Jax into a near frenzy and his grabbing becomes manic and forceful. He nibbles at her jaw and kisses her neck.

"Is it always this intense?" She asks, breathless, whilst he trails kisses down to her chest.

Jax's head snaps up and he looks at her, everything stills as his eyes stare down into hers "No." He says simply, bringing both his hands to her face, one in her hair. "I've kissed a lot of girls, and it's never been like this." He kisses her again, he tries to put everything he's feeling into the kiss and he loves the way she kisses him back. He feels like his body is singing, his heart feels so full, as if it's bubbling over with joy, he has no idea what's happening to him.

They make out for what feels like forever but also like no time at all. After her lips are too sore to continue, Tara pulls back.

"What are we doing, Jax?" Her eyes implore him, begging for an answer.

He steps away from her, and leans against the door too so so they're side by side, after a second, he turns his head to look down at her, she looks up at him, patiently waiting. "I don't know, Tara. It just feels right. You and me." He shrugs, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

She nods, scared of what emotion her voice will show. She can't ever imagine Jax having a girlfriend, she can't even imagine _being_ his girlfriend, but somehow this feels so much more than just a Teller Special hookup.

"How many girls?" She asks when she feels less emotional, not nastily though, she makes sure her voice is clam, she's curious.

"What?" His voice is sharp as he releases smoke.

"How many girls have you- whatever." She gestures to herself and blushes.

"Jesus Christ," he blinks down at her. "You really wanna know?"

She nods, her heart thumping. Does she wanna know?

"Shit. I dunno Tara, pretty much every teen from here to Lido. Some Crow Eaters too."

Tara just nods whilst she digests the information. He doesn't know if it bothers her or not. "Ever kiss a pornstar?"

"Nah, my mom would kill me if I did." He grins.

Tara glares at him, "and that's the only thing that's stopped you?"

"Tara." Jax's voice is full of amusement and he looks at her with so much affection her heart feels like it's spluttering out of her chest. "I'm sixteen, of course I wanna sleep with a pornstar."

Tara hits his chest with the back of her hand, it's not hard enough to hurt but definitely hard enough to be more than playful, he laughs his actual laugh and pulls her so she's standing between his legs, holding her hand so it's right above his heart. He throws his cigarette away with his other hand and leans in to kiss her.

"Listen Jax," she pulls away from the kiss. "If we're gonna do this, whatever it is, it has to be just us. No other teenagers, no Crow Eaters and _no_ pornsluts. Until this is figured out, it's just us. You got it?"

Jax grins down at her, jealousy is cute on her, it makes her look wild. "Yes ma'am"

"Don't call me that, it makes me sound like an old lady."

"You can be my ol' lady." He smiles into her lips and she gives a reluctant smile back. When his lips touch hers, fire ignites and they begin making out again.

They don't stop for what feels like hours, but also no time at all. It isn't until Jax can see Tara is completely spent that he convinces her to get on his bike to ride her home. She hops on the back, putting on his helmet, he ignores her protests that he won't be protected. When her arms wrap around him, and her head rests on his shoulder, Jax pulls away. He can't help but feel like they've always been like this, and they always will be.

Tara doesn't want to get off the bike when Jax pulls down the road from her house, she wants to stay cuddled to him forever. She inhales him one more time, the smell of leather, deodorant and washing powder, she thinks it's the most beautiful thing she's ever smelt. Then she dismounts.

Jax takes her hand as he leads her down the street, he parked a couple blocks down because he didn't want to alert her old man, even though Tara said he wouldn't notice or care. Absentmindedly, he checks his watch, Jesus Christ, it's already eleven o'clock, how had they been out for almost two and a half hours? Why did it only feel like twenty minutes?

Tara freezes when she sees the Cutlass in the drive.

"What is it?" Jax whispers, but she just shakes her head and let's go of his hand.

"I've got to go." She says quietly, she's guarded. "I'll see you at school?"

Jax frowns at her, knowing she's hiding something - but he doesn't want to ruin the night. "Yeah, I'll be there."

She leans up, placing a gentle hand on his chest for support, and she kisses him, like it's the most natural thing to do, both are a bit taken aback. How is this new territory but everything feels so easy? They stare at each other in awe for a bit, then Tara shakes herself and runs off. Letting herself into the house without looking back, Jax stares on for a minute.

He's in so much trouble with this girl.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All rights go to SOA.**

* * *

Tara creeps into the house, hoping she doesn't disturb her daddy. She tip-toe's across the floor, avoiding the creaking floorboards as she does. He's got his back to her, sitting in the armchair facing the TV, a glass of Amber liquid in his hand that he's rolling in a circular motion. There are no lights on, the room is illuminated only by the light from the TV, the darkness makes Tara feel uneasy.

Her daddy doesn't look away from the commercial that's playing when he shouts; "where have you been, girl?!"

She freezes, she's so close to being in her bedroom, her safe spot of the house, her eyes flick from him to her bedroom door. "I was at work, Daddy." Her voice is quiet, she'll be surprised if he can hear her, but she's scared if she speaks any louder she'll provoke him more.

"Bullshit!" He roars, his eyes now on her, they're bloodshot and tired looking, staring at her with disgust. His voice is so slurred it's barely understandable. "What job in Charming requires a sixteen-year-old-girl to stay out until ten-past-eleven?"

She fumbles with her bag, avoiding his gaze. It wounds her, the way he looks at her, with such contempt. "I was doing inventory for the library, I lost track of time."

He's up on his feet so fast Tara is amazed, her eyes snapping to him as he moves towards her. Considering how drunk he is, she's surprised he can move at all. He lumbers towards her, she's too terrified to bolt, scared that any movement might provoke him more. He reaches her and grasps her shoulders so tight she yelps and dips a little at the pain, tears springing to her eyes. His face is close to hers, his breath smells bad, like rotting flesh and alcohol, a stark contrast to heavenly scent of Jax that she was inhaling only moments ago.

"You don't wanna lie to me, Tara." Her Dad warns, his voice is low and menacing, his fingers digging into her even more, his nails pierce skin and she can feel tiny droplets of blood dribbling down. "I can kick you out of my house, make you homeless, having to sell your body to look after yourself, getting addicted to crank. Is that the life you want? Huh?"

She shakes head furiously, praying that the tears don't slide down her face. He digs his fingers in more, and she bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from yelling in pain.

"Next time," he breathes, the smell smacking her in the face. "You make sure you're home and dinner is waiting for me. The only reason I keep you around is because you're useful."

He releases her and she falls back slightly at the release, leaning against the wall for support. She watches as he slinks back to his chair, letting out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. He takes a long sip from the glass he had placed on the table.

She wants to stand her ground, tell him it's impossible to be here when he wants her here because he's barely here himself, she can't predict when he's back. She wants to yell that she's keeping her GPA up, and has a job, and a social life, whilst also being his maid. How can she fucking know when he will decide to grace her with his presence? She wants to scream at him until her lungs hurt. But more then anything, she wants him to see her for who she really is, not his emotional punch bag, but a damn good kid. She's silent as she glares at him, all these thoughts running through her head. Her mind speeds ahead at a hundred miles an hour, she mentally throws insults at him. She can't watch anymore when he pours himself another whiskey. Her hands tremble as she turns and opens her bedroom door.

She slumps on her bed, taking out her school books from her backpack. Unwanted tears roll down her face and she wipes at them angrily. She's thankful the library was quiet today, because she got to do most of her homework, except for Chemistry, which isn't due for another two days anyway. She reads over the homework question, but she's too fried to make any sense of it.

With a sigh, she gets up and gets ready for bed, glancing at her shoulders in her ensuite mirror, the bruises are already forming, the blood drying - she quickly wipes at it. She thanks God it's winter and she has an excuse to cover up, no amount of makeup will hide this purple skin. She pulls her long brown hair into a bun at the top of her head and climbs into bed. Her mind wonders to Jax, she wonders if he'll get in trouble for being out so late or if his parents are used to it? Do they expect it? Is Clay anything like J.T? She raises her fingers to her lips and smiles at the memory of his kiss. Jax is the welcome distraction she needs from how serious everything else around her is.

* * *

After Jax leaves Tara he rides around for a bit, trying to clear his head, trying to think of what he can say to Clay and Gemma. He doesn't know what it is about this chick that's got him all twisted up, that makes the club seem secondary, he knows it's dangerous but he can't help it. There's just something about her. He never thought he would let a chick be important to him, but here he is. The boys would rip him to shreds if they knew.

"Where have you been?" Gemma demands before he's even fully through the door, he's surprised she didn't meet him out front when she heard his bike. He places his keys in the key tray and sighs. He wishes he had a normal family for just a second, so he could admit he was with a girl.

"I went for a ride, Ma. Clear my head." He hopes that she thinks he's still grieving and will get off his case.

Gemma is glaring at her son, she walks up to him, their faces real close. "You listen to me, you're a prospect now - you can't go running off without your phone, doing God knows what with God knows who. The MC needs you. There are high expectations of you Jackson, don't go screwing this up."

"I told you," Jax spits. His temper, which is never far from the surface, threatening to spill over. "I was out for a ride."

"Yeah. I believe you." Gemma says sarcastically, still close to her sons face.

"What do you care, huh?" Jax explodes, his mother steps back at the fury in his face. "What time did you even notice I was gone? Before or after you had sex with Clay in my _fathers_ bed? I know SAMCRO didn't need me tonight, half the club isn't even here. So whatever it is you're getting at, it ain't right. I do my dues, I go to school, hell - I even get good grades. When the club needs me I'm there, I ain't ever let nobody down. I suggest you spit out whatever you think I was up to, and get it off your chest."

Gemma blinks at her son, since his daddy died he has never shouted her. He's tried to remain respectful, he's always has in his mind she lost a son and husband in one year, he doesn't want to add to her trouble. This isn't the Jax she knows, this isn't like him, she doesn't voice this however.

"Baby," she coos. "I'm not saying you were up to anything, but you can't go riding out into the night without your phone. What if we needed you, what if you needed us?"

Jax stares her down. "Nothing happened, I just went for a ride." He swaggers past her and storms up to his room. Throwing himself onto his bed, he pulls out a pack of smokes. That has been bubbling under the surface for a while. He loves Clay, he was like second father to him anyway, but it doesn't mean it isn't hard to see his dad replaced so soon, in his life, at the club - how is a normal person supposed to react to this shit?

Clay, who had been watching at the sidelines, places a reassuring hand on Gemma's shoulder, she turns and leans into him for a embrace.

"Don't worry, baby" Clay soothes, "he's a teenage boy. The club will set him on the right track."

"Hm," Gemma says to his chest, her voice muffled. "Something is eating that boy up, I'm gonna find out what."

Clay pushes her back so she's arms length away and he can look into her eyes. "You listen to me, that boy has had a hard year - he's a teenager, the last thing he needs is his mother poking into his personal life and what he does outside of the club. He's loyal, it's in his DNA, let him have his moments to still be a kid."

They look at each other for a while, Clay doesn't let her go until Gemma reluctantly nods.

"Sure, baby." Gemma agrees, but they all know she's like a dog with a bone.


	6. Chapter 6

Please leave a review, I have no idea if I'm staying true to the characters or if there is anything you guys feel I should improve. **Disclaimer: all rights go to SOA.**

* * *

When Tara wakes the next day, she's excited to get to school. This is the first in her sixteen years of life that she can say she's excited for school. Being away from Jax all night felt like a lifetime, and she's desperate to see him, be near him. Especially after the fallout of her father yesterday.

She gets ready with a spring in her step, smiling as she does. Carefully, she opens her bedroom door, but her Daddy is gone, she sighs - that means the Cutlass is too. She isn't sure what her daddy does for work, she's not sure she even wants to know, but what she does know is it allows him to come home drunk most evenings. When her dad is sober he's like a different man, caring, empathetic, interested in her, but he's rarely so and its hard for her to cling to her love of him when she can't see the good anymore.

She leaves early, so eager to get to school she has an hour to do the thirty minute walk, so she decides to go the scenic route. Her every thought is taken up by Jax. Will he be at school today? Will it be awkward? Is it going anywhere? Does he actually like her? Why the sudden interest? Is he excited to see her too? Endless questions that she knows he will never answer. Jax would rather get shot then open up emotionally. Tara doesn't p even know if she wants the answers, what if he doesn't give her what she wants? What if he can't? Will they go back to ignoring each other? Can she do that?

She rolls her eyes to the sky and wishes her brain would just shut up and enjoy it. It's Jax Teller, a boy she's had a thing for since she was old enough to know what a boy was. So what if it's a _for now_ thing, it's not like she's planning on staying in Charming, and she sure as shit knows he isn't leaving.

Suddenly, a piercing roar fills the air and Tara smiles to herself. Before she turns, she knows Jax is cruising behind her - when she sees him, his baby blues are on her and it makes her squirm inside, in a good way.

"Hey baby" he grins, pulling up beside her. "I've been looking for you."

Tara places and hand on her hip, eyebrow up, standing in a dubious stance, but she's beaming at him. "Oh, yeah?" But her words say _whys that_?

"Yeah." He's beaming as much as she is as he dismounts, he walks around to her and places his hands on her hips, she stares up at him. She notices it's hard to breathe when he's this close, and it's all she can do to _not_ concentrate on is his lips.

"I noticed you walked everywhere yesterday, wanted to see if I could give you a ride." His voice is quiet and he says it like a statement, but Tara knows it's a question.

She lets a giggle slip out, Jax Teller is nervous. Over her? Now she really _is_ happy. He frowns at her, waiting for her answer. "Yeah," she nods, still smiling. "I would love that."

He smiles back, all anxiety disappearing, and gives her a chaste kiss on the lips before climbing on his bike. She climbs behind him, leaning down and wrapping her arms around him, inhaling his scent. Already this is the best day of her life.

When they ride into school, everyone looks. Not just a few passers by glancing in their direction, but absolutely everyone turns to look. Chatter starts immediately. Tara is Beetroot red as she jumps off, but Jax looks happier than ever, Tara notices that he has more swagger in his step then usual.

"You're getting off on the attention." She accuses Jax in jest. He doesn't say anything but he laughs and pulls her around to him, without a moments hesitation, he grasps her face and begins kissing her. Tara is gone for the moment his lips touch hers. They don't break apart until the first warning bell goes and Tara jerks her head up, darting away before Jax can say anything.

Watching her run away, his good girl, he notices Opie across the lot leaning against the school wall, waiting for him. Opie is scrutinising his best friend, and Jax knows that look, it is full of questions.

"Now," Opie says as Jax reaches him and leans on the wall next to him, taking out a smoke. "The last time we spoke, you didn't know what it was with you and Tara, that was only yesterday. Now you're riding her to school and making out with her in the lot? I don't know about you, but that felt like a proclamation to me."

Jax looks at Opie, his face amused. "Proclamation? You been hitting the dictionary's Ope?"

Opie jokingly punches his brother, Jax's laughs as he falls to the side and stands back up.

"Someone has got to keep up with you, man." Ope takes a pull of Jax's cigarette then nods to the building. "She got anything to do with why your mom called me asking where you were last night?"

"Yeah." Jax drawls, but he doesn't elaborate. Opie knows better them to try and press him for information.

"Okay, brother," Opie is staring at his best friend, it's been a minute since the last warning bell rang. "I got your back."

Jax nods at him, they have a quick embrace then they head inside together, late as usual.

* * *

Tara's ears are burning, everyone in her Biology class is staring at her, whispering about her. A part of her loves it, because it means they don't think she's just another one of Jax's 'girls'. A part of her really wants it to stop - it's embarrassing, and she can't concentrate on what Mr. Cho is saying.

"So," Krissy, a girl that has sat next to her the entire year and has never said more then 'Hi', starts. "You and Jax, what is with that?"

Tara glares at her, the audacity! She shrugs and fixes her eyes on the board. "You'd have to ask him."

Krissy lets out a girly laugh, "yeah, right. He'd totally answer me." Tara doesn't respond so Krissy continues. "Jax is almost seventeen, right? So, he's had his bike, what? Almost a year? No one has ever ridden with him before. What makes you so special?"

Tara rolls her eyes, "we've been friends since we were three."

"Hunny." Krissy's voice is annoyingly patronising, she places a hand on Tara's shoulder, right above where had daddy had the night before. Tara suddenly has images of smacking Krissy's head off her desk. "We've _all_ been friends with Jax, at one point or another."

At this, Tara can't help but seriously glare at the girl. She leans in close, threatening. "You don't know shit about me, and you don't know shit about Jax. If you want answers, you ask him, he might be a bit more accommodating then I'll be."

"Is there a problem?" Mr. Cho calls from the front, eyeing the two girls. Tara sits up straight and smiles.

"No, Sir." She says, "just giving Krissy the facts."

Guilt settles in about five minutes later when her anger has worn off. She was kind of harsh, reactionary, it wasn't Krissy's fault for being a mindless skank. The rest of the class is highly uncomfortable and Tara can't shake the feeling Krissy is going to make her pay for that. When the bell goes she shoots out of there, and sighs when she sees Jax waiting. Her heart melts when they catch eyes and he beams at her.

"Hey" she says, walking straight up to him. No fear, no doubt, no care of how he'll react. Jax loves the certainty she has. "People won't stop staring."

He places his arms around her waist, and he looks down at her. "I'm a celebrity babe, you'll have to roll with the punches."

Tara rolls her eyes at him. "Modest too."

He laughs.

"Come on, we have English together." He takes her hand and she revels in it. She knows for sure Jax has never been seen walking the halls holding a girls hand. He'll make out with them, sure, but when that bell goes or the day is out, Jax has no more time for them. He's letting everyone know Tara isn't like that, and it makes her want to jump up and down in glee.

They enter the class and she takes her usual spot next to David, she couldn't help see the glower in his face before her and Jax let go of hands. Jax, again, sits next to her instead of Opie. She feels a little like people will misinterpret that as him caring more for her than Opie, and that's not what she wants.

"You can sit with Ope'." She whispers to him, she doesn't know why she doesn't want people to hear.

"Nah," Jax whispers back, he throws a glance at David. "I sit next to him every class. I'm okay here."

Tara frowns at Jax, is he jealous, of Hale? He's got to be joking? But as the class continues the animosity between the two grows. They barely speak to her, they don't help her discuss any of the essay questions like they're told, occasionally they throw her exasperated looks for endlessly babbling, and then glare at each other again. Everything Tara does to defuse the situation only makes it worse, by the end both boys hands are balled into fists even though they haven't actually said a word to each other.

When the bell rings, Jax tells Tara he's going for a smoke and is gone before Tara can object. She turns to Opie, bewildered, but experience has taught her he's the strong silent type when it comes to Jax, he's following Jax out with a shrug in her direction. She turns to David.

"I take it I won't be seeing you at lunch anymore?" David hisses, she blinks at him.

"What are you talking about?" She demands, she's not moved from her seat - David is standing, angrily throwing his books in his bag.

"You've got a new group of friends." He says, like this is an explanation. Tara wants to shake him.

"Kissing Jax hardly constitutes being in the MC." She says, her voice is a little heated but they're both behaving like such - such, children!

"It's as good as." David snaps, he pauses and stares down at her, his jaw is jumping.

"Spit it out, David." She's suddenly exhausted and it's not even lunch yet.

"I told you how I felt yesterday."

"Exactly!" Tara yells, Mr. Bell shoots them a look, she gives him an apologetic smile and turns back to David. "This _thing_ , between me and Jax, it only happened yesterday. Nothing is changing."

David regards her for a moment, Tara implores him to be reasonable. He gives her a sharp nod of her head. "So I'll see you at lunch?"

She breathes, "of course, idiot." He doesn't look pleased but he doesn't look furious either, he walks out the class without looking back, and Tara marches out to Jax and Opie who are having a low conversation, passing a cigarette between them.

"Whatever your problem with Hale is, let it go." Tara tells him when she reaches him.

Jax shrugs nonchalantly, "I ain't got a problem with him." Opie snorts and Tara nods to Jax letting him know that was all the confirmation she needs.

"I mean it Jax, let it go. He's my friend."

Jax turns away from her, it's her second day into this and she's already knee deep in drama. When Jax turns back, his jaw is jumping just like David's was moments ago. "When he stops walking around like he's better than me and my crew, I'll let it go."

"He doesn't-" Tara begins to defend, "no, you know what. Yeah, he's an honour role student, and his dad is a judge, and he's on the football team, he's probably going to be prom king one day. And yeah, he comes from money, so he's a little bit arrogant. But _you_ , Jax Teller, are exactly the same. Except your family are the outlaws, and you're the little _prince_ of _that_ fraction. You're both tarnishing each other with the same stick, when you're the same person, and I'm in the middle. So, pull your head out your ass and behave with the maturity I know you have."

She turns on her heel and storms away, both boys watch as she goes. Opie lets out a low whistle, "now I know why you like her."

"Shut up." Jax grunts, but his eyes are peeled to Tara's retreating figure, and he'll be damned if he ever sees anything sexier.


	7. Chapter 7

I wrote this chapter at 4am when I couldn't sleep, I'm sorry for the spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and the fact it's not a very strong chapter. Disclaimer: **All rights go to SOA.**

* * *

Tara is dreading lunch. She's quite glad that she doesn't have to see Jax or David for the next few periods. She's knows Jax will expect her to sit with him. She used to sit with him before they fell out, and if she's really honest, she _wants_ to sit with him, if she doesn't, it's just more time spent apart.

She knows that she can't now she's made such a huge deal about nothing changing to David, and he's been such a good friend to her, she doesn't want him to feel like she's ditching her friends for Jax. Though if push comes to shove, she knows who she will pick, and it's not the fair choice.

She also wants to make a point to Jax, he has to get used to her being friends with David, that really _isn't_ going to change. What she had said to Jax is true, they are basically the same person - they just have different ideas about what's right and wrong.

Well, she bristles, they're just going to have to suck up their indifferences. If either of them care about her, they will, and they won't use her as an excuse to go at each other.

"Tara?" Mr. O'Leary is staring at her, she looks at him unsure what he wants. Mr. O'Leary just sighs and moves on to the next person. Someone whispers, "must be tired because of Jax's dick." A few giggle.

The whispering and staring hasn't died down, she gets it, she expects it, but now people are just being crude and it's making her bad mood worse. Most people aren't even hiding their opinions, Ash Haller was announcing to all his dim-witted friends, just as she walked into class that she was; 'only Teller's new piece of ass' and 'would be fair game when he was done with her.' It really took all her might not to use her new boxing skills and take out his teeth.

When lunch finally comes around, to Tara's relief and dismay, she is wound tighter then a coil, and seriously considers pretending to be sick so she can go home. Instead, she follows her usual routine, gets her food, sits with David, and watches the door for Jax to finish his smoke and enter the cafeteria with Opie. She didn't even know that was her routine until yesterday, but now she's painfully aware that the _entire_ time they didn't speak, she's kept tabs on Jax. She briefly wonders if he has done the same, but then she remembers the surprise on his face yesterday when he saw her with David, and she knows that's not his style.

When he enters his eyes land straight on her, and she stares back, his face reveals nothing of how he feels about her not sitting with him. He looks away after a minute and sits at his table with his usual friends, Opie, Lowell, Kyle, Donna, Wendy, Sarah and Jenny. The new boy, 'Juice', has joined their table too. Tara notices that this time Jax makes a point of sitting with Opie, instead of Wendy, and she wants to walk straight up to him and kiss him for it.

"Hey. I'm talking to you," Jameson, the worst out of all of David's friends, is clicking his fingers at her, getting her attention.

"Don't do that." Tara snaps, glaring at his fingers.

"Well, maybe if you were listening to me, instead of eye-fucking your lowlife screw up, I wouldn't have to."

"Hey!" David and Tara yell at the same time. Tara is pleased to see David is just as angry as she is, his jaw jumping, his eyes blazing. Tara places a hand on his arm to hopefully calm him and turns back to Jameson.

"What do you want?' She demands.

"I wanted to know," his voice has a slight sneer in it, "if it wasn't enough that we hang around with you when your daddy is a drunk, why you have to go around fucking the criminals of the Charming too? What does David have to do, to get you up to our standard?"

Tara isn't really sure what happens next, she doesn't know what makes her do it, but she's dimly aware of her arms lifting up her food tray, and smacking it as hard as possible into Jameson's face. The connection is so forceful that she can physically feel the tray vibrate.

"You bitch!" Jameson screams as she drops the tray to the floor in shock. His face is spewing blood, Tara stares at him, bewildered.

The next thing she knows, his fist coming towards her. She doesn't have time to move, she's in too much shock to even think about moving. His fist hits her straight where her right eyes is, the force makes her feel like a truck is slamming into her. He has a ring on his little finger, which catches at the corner of her eye and rips the skin off.

She screams in pain, stumbling backwards. As she falls, she see's David has managed to get around her and rugby tackle Jameson to the ground. Everything moves in slow motion, a small part of her notes. She sees Jax get there, with Opie & Co behind him - and watches as Jax lowers himself onto one knee, then starts pummelling Jameson's face into a new one, David is pinning Jameson down. Opie and Kyle are fighting off Jameson's friends. There's a look at Jax's face that shakes Tara to her core.

"Jax!" She's screams when the blood, and sound of bone crunching speeds up to a normal level, it is too much for her to bare. Everyone pauses and looks at her.

Opie shoves one of the boys and points at the other, "walk it off," he commands. Jameson's friends wisely walk away.

Jax has paused mid-punch, he's looking at her, the hard look, the rage, has been wiped from his face. As he looks at her, everything softens, his arms drop to his side. He falls back on the heels of his feet and takes a couple of deep breaths, his eyes are back onto the bloody mess of Jameson on the floor. He glances at Tara again, her black eye is forming, blood is gushing from the side of her face - it's not the first time in his sixteen years he's felt the urge to kill someone, but he doesn't want Tara to see that darkness in him. He looks to the ceiling and takes another deep breath. He stands and looks at everyone in the cafeteria who's watched the horror unfold. Opie, Juice and Kyle stand behind him, like avenging Angels. Jax addresses everyone in the room - his voice clear as a bell;

"Jameson hit Tara, so she hit him back. When he wouldn't back down me and Hale had to step in." He eyes as many people individually as he can. "Do you all understand?" His voice is commanding, he has blood on his face and is long hair has gone awry. Tara doesn't think he knows how menacing he looks right now, but she wouldn't want to disobey him and she knows him, really knows him, not like the good people of Charming High.

When he feels satisfied that enough people agree, he walks to Tara, dropping to his knees beside her and cradling her in his arms.

Opie looks at David, still clinging to the lifeless body of Jameson, "I don't think he's going anywhere fast." Opie tells him, David jumps up and gets a full view of the damage Jax has done.

"Jesus." David mutters, "I think he's almost dead."

"Yup." Opie agrees, clapping him on the back. "Why don't you go and get the nurse?"

David appears to be having a hard time looking away from Jameson, the shock settling in. Opie claps his hands once, which makes them all jump, even Jax.

"Someone get the nurse!" Opie shouts to the room. "Where are all the teachers in this shitheap? Do they always leave us unattended?"

Tara begins to uncontrollably sob. It's not like she hasn't hit a person before, hell, with her daddy it's not like she's never been hit, but this was an unexpected attack. The whole day she's been used as an emotional punchbag, and after her dads performance last night, everything just caught up with her, she snapped.

She's crying because she scared herself, and because Jax was scary, she realises, not because she was hit.

Jax strokes her hair and kisses her head, he rocks her back and forth and does everything he can to comfort her. He doesn't know that just the smell of him is putting her at ease.

Three nurses and five teachers come bustling into the room. Two of the nurses rush to Jameson whilst one rushes to Tara. It takes a while for Tara to calm down and give the nurse a chance to look at her.

"I'm gonna need to take you to the nurses room." The nurse is stern, Tara nods and Jax helps her to her feet. "You can stay." The nurse says to Jax, her eyes are piercing him, and Jax knows she thinks it's his fault, he can see it on her face.

"I'm not leaving her." His voice is authoritative, his arms tighten around Tara, she clings back just as hard, and the nurse senses it's better to let him have his way then argue.

The three walk together, whilst the teachers question the students. From the snippets Jax hears, they're sticking to his story and he's glad, because all the fight has left him for the day.

They amble along the corridor, kids who weren't in the cafeteria are eyeing them. Some are throwing accusatory glares at Jax, some are throwing pity ones, but mostly people are too busy gossiping to even really look, excitement is sweeping the halls.

If feels like ages before they make it, probably because Jax is supporting most of Tara's weight and Tara feels like she's in a bad dream, that school fights aren't a real thing in her life. There is no adrenaline in her system and every limb feels like it's made of cement.

"I need you to take off your sweater." The nurse instructs once they're in the nurses room and Tara is lying on the medical table.

"My- my sweater?" Tara asks, she looks at Jax in panic - though he doesn't know why. Is she worried about him seeing her naked? Surely she's wearing a top underneath? Or at least a bra, the last thing on his mind right now is sex - she must know that?

"Yes, sweetheart." The nurses voice is soft now, she's wiping the blood away from Tara's face so she can get a better look at the cut. "It's covered in blood, I can get you a school hoody to wear. I have spares in my cupboard." The nurse looks at Jax, her eyes flicking to a nearby cupboard, he turns to the cupboard on his right, and pulls one out, handing it to Tara. Her hands shake as she takes it from him, the sight makes him want to wrap her in his arms.

The nurse gives Tara space to take her sweater off, she's wearing a spaghetti top underneath. Both sets eyes are on the bruises on her shoulders as soon as her skin is free, Jax looks away quicker than the nurse does, his jaw jumping, his hands balled.

"Honey?" She breathes, her eyes are scanning the bruises. "Did that boy out there do this to you?"

"No." Tara answers too quickly, but her voice is shaky and unclear. "I fell."

"Sweetheart," the nurse's voice is disbelieving, "those are finger marks."

"No they're not, I fell." Her voice is more stern this time.

The nurse turns to Jax, "do you know who did this? What this is?"

He shakes his head, his face is contorted from anger, rage, hate, loathing. Tara flinches at the sight of it. She knows he knows it's her daddy, she knows Jax can't stand men who hit women, she hates the idea of him hurting her daddy, he's big enough and strong enough to do it now. This thing, the bullying, it's between her and her dad. Jax cannot get involved.

The nurse goes to push it, but something on Tara's face stops her. She bustles about the rest of her business in silence, the two kids in her room stare at each other and the nurse can feel how in sync they are, they're reading each other without speaking. It's eery.

"You don't need stiches." The nurse says after twenty minutes of cleaning and assessing, she throws off her gloves. "But I suggest you go home and ice it." She turns to Jax. "You'll need to take her in case she has concussion. She needs someone to look after her for twenty-four-hours."

Jax hasn't taken his eyes off Tara simce the nurse asked him who had bruised her. "That won't be a problem." His voice shakes with anger.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer; all rights go to SOA.**

Authors note: was going to continue from this chapter a year later but I've had a few ideas so I'm not doing that just yet. Let me know what you think :).

* * *

Jax leaves Tara in the nurses office with a promise he'll be back soon, which is good for her, because it gives her time to cry and fall apart. A long time ago, she learned that falling apart was a privilege, but this was a rare moment she needed to lose herself, and claw herself back later.

Jaxs storms through the halls with purpose, people move out of his way without him even having to glance at them, he finds Opie, Juice, Kyle and David still in the cafeteria.

"Brother." Opie greets, they have a quick man-hug. Without asking, Opie knows to give Jax the rundown. "Most people stuck to your story, so you don't need to speak to any teachers, and you're not in trouble. Jameson has been taken to St. Thomas', you beat him pretty bad, but since you were defending Tara, I don't think you can get in trouble with the police. I don't think he can press charges."

Jax nods, pleased to hear this.

"How is she?" Opie asks.

"Aside from the black eye, you mean?" Jax's voice is angry, he takes a minute to calm himself. "Did you find out from Hale what really happened? Why Tara hit him?"

"Yeah." Opie laughs but there's no humour in it. "He called you a screw up, told her she was no good because her daddy. People have been going at her all day, and knowing Tara she was probably worried about keeping you and Hale contained. I think she just lost it."

"Yeah." Jax rolls his eyes to the ceiling, takes a breath then looks at his best friend. "I need a smoke."

"Wanna go out?" Opie asks.

"Nah, I need you to ride to yours and get Piney's car. Tara needs someone to look after her tonight, and I don't think she can ride on my bike."

Opie nods, "you taking her home?"

Jax's face darkens, Opie is suddenly worried about Jax's temperament today, he's a loose cannon.

When Jax speaks, Opie can hear the undercurrent of rage. "It looks like shit with her daddy hasn't changed much, she has finger bruises all over her shoulders, they look so bad that I'm sure moving her arms is painful. I'm taking her to mine."

"Shit." Opie mutters. "What do you think Gemma will say?"

"I don't give a shit!" Jax spins and smacks the nearest table, his fists coming down hard. His voice is gritty, laden with emotion when he next speaks, "I spent a year shutting her out, Ope. She's been suffering all this time, and no one knew."

"This ain't on you, brother." Opie consoles, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jax nods but the guilt doesn't lessen. Opie watches Jax, he can't think of anything to say and it's not his right to question his best friend on why this has affected him so much. Tara is clearly not just another chick. "I'll go and get the car now."

"Thanks." Jax gives his friend a weak smile standing up straight, he watches as Opie lumbers out of the cafeteria, then he sags into the seat at the table.

"Is she okay?" Hale asks, Jax's head which was in his hands, snaps up.

"Yeah." Jax eyes Hale for a minute. "You know much about her daddy?

Hale shakes his head, "just that he's a drunk."

"Yeah," Jax gives Hale a shrewd look. "That's what I thought."

He's pissed that Hale doesn't know anything to do with Tara and her father, that in his absence of friendship, no one has been looking after her. If he hadn't of been so selfish, so wrapped up in his own shit he would have been able to be there for her himself. Hale was meant to have been there, he's meant to be her best friend. And today, how had Hale even let it get to the point where Tara was hitting a guy in the face with a food tray? How had that guy then hit Tara? What was Hale doing then? Why was it left to Jax to beat his face in?

"What does that mean?" Hale demands. " _That's what I thought_?"

Jax shakes his head, his mouth shaped in disgust. "Nothing. Maybe instead of getting on my case you should start looking out for your best friend." He stands and pushes past Hale, making his way to his bike for smoke.

* * *

Jax doesn't go back to Tara for at least half-an-hour, he needs to clear his head, figure out how to handle the situation. He waits for Opie to get back with Piney's car. When he gets to the nurses room he can't look at her, and it nearly crushes her all over again. She's pulled herself together, she feels composed, calm even, but Jax not looking at her is undoing all that.

"Is it okay if I put you in a car with Ope' and I'll ride behind?" His voice is soft, soothing. His arms are folded across his chest, defensive, his eyes staring at the floor. Tara thinks it's because she looks weak, feeble, but really it's because Jax is being destroyed with guilt. How can she ever trust him not to flake on her like he has done? How will he prove to her he will protect her?

"Sure." She says, her voice matching his. Her eyes are glued to him, willing him to look up. She doesn't want his pity, doesn't want him to not be able to look at her. "Where are we going?"

"My house." His voice tells her it isn't up for debate. It wouldn't be like it wasn't first time she's been there, but this is different, more serious somehow.

"Are you sure? My house is probably empty-"

"No!" Jax roars, his eyes focus on her, his face contorted, he bites his lip in annoyance. "I need you to be some place safe tonight."

Tara frowns at him, her chin raises in defiance "who the hell said my house isn't safe?"

"Christ, Tara." He shakes his head, she hasn't put the hoody on yet and his eyes fall to her bruises. "LOOK AT YOUR SHOULDERS!"

"What has my house got to do with my shoulders?" It's feeble and she knows he can hear the uncertainty in her voice, she knows he knows, but she'll never admit to it. She sighs, remembering her fathers words from yesterday, "If I don't go home, he won't be happy."

"I don't give a shit." Jax spits, at this, Tara rolls her eyes. She can't help herself, he's so _emotional_. "You're staying with me tonight, it's not up for discussion." He picks up her bag. "Let's go."

She doesn't move, her eyes challenging him, they glare at each other from across the room. Without thinking, Jax drops the bag and hurls himself at her, his left hand tangles itself in her hair, and right hand caresses the good side of her face. He places a gentle kiss on her lips, and she pulls his face to crush down on hers, wrapping each leg around his waist so she can pull his body closer. She deepens the kiss, they're toungrs pushing and stroking in sync, each kiss more ferocious than the last. Every touch she places on him is tantalising, he's never been so eager for someone to touch him in his whole life. She's opened up a whole new world he's sure he'll never experience with anyone ever again. She begins clawing at his top, trying to get it off.

"Tara," Jax warns between kisses, but he can't think straight, can't see past her lips on his.

There's a knock on the door and they both freeze. Jax pulls away, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Jax?" Opie's voice calls through the door, "I've gotta get this car back soon, man."

"Just a minute." He calls, they both straighten themselves out, not saying a word to each other. Jax swings open the door and Opie grins as soon as he sees them, they're not fooling anyone.

* * *

Gemma is not happy. She's been calling Jax all afternoon since she found out he got in a fight at school, and he's not answered a single call. So imagine her surprise when she gets home to find his bike in the driveway.

"Jax?" She calls as she bursts through the front door. "Jax!" She marches up the stairs to his room. "Jackson Teller!"

"Shh" He scolds, he's leaving his room, quietly closing the door behind him, he's got no top on and is wearing grey tracksuit pants. Even at sixteen his body is well formed.

"Sh?!" Gemma is outraged, "don't shush me in my own house!"

"Ma!" Jax's voice is a raised whisper, "Tara is sleeping."

"Tara?" His mother is completely lost, then a revelation hits her. "Tara _Knowles_?"

"Ma, shut up." Jax whispers as he leads his way down to the kitchen, his mother doesn't follow but instead marches to, and swings open Jax's bedroom door. "Mom!" His voice is a shout this time.

"Jesus Christ," Gemma whispers as she looks at the bruised and bloodied girl asleep in Jax's bed. She turns her eyes to glare at her son. "Did you do that?"

"No! Jesus, Ma!" He throws up his hands, exasperated, but there's a small smirk on his lips at the impossibility of his mother. "Can you come downstairs so I can speak to you?"

She doesn't move, so Jax begins to walk to her with every intention to move her himself. "Alright, alright!" She says before he reaches her, quietly closing the door again.

Once in the kitchen, sitting down and sipping on coffee, Jax recounts the whole day.

"So, why didn't you take her to her house?" Gemma asks once she's processed the story.

"I think her daddy hits her." His voice is grave, Gemma can hear the guilt, though she doesn't know where it's coming from.

"She told you that?"

"No" Jax lights a cigarette. "But I know."

Gemma eyes her son, "shit." Jax nods. Gemma takes his cigarette and has a few pulls before giving it back. She nods once to the ceiling."You like her?"

His forever perceptive, impossible mother. Jax shrugs, he hopes it nonchalant. "I think so."

"Okay" Gemma nods, "well she seems to be going through her own struggles, maybe she could do with a nice boy in her life."

Jax beams at his mother, knowing she's giving him her approval. "Thanks, Ma."


	9. Chapter 9

I think this might be my favourite chapter that I've written, let me know what you think. And if anyone knows how to tag a story, please let me know. Thank you! **Disclaimer: all rights go to SOA.**

* * *

Tara wakes alone to a dark, unfamiliar room. Her eyes take a moment to adjust to the darkness, she can see the room is blue and there are posters of Harley's everywhere. With a jolt, she remembers it's Jax's and bolts upright. Then, like an unwanted bad dream, the entirety of yesterday floods her mind. Or was it today? What time is it? She looks at the clock on the nightstand with illuminated numbers, it's ten-fifty. In the evening? She gets up and pads across the carpeted floor to the window, pulling on the blinds to reveal it that night has fallen. She walks back and sits on the edge of the bed.

Where is Jax?

They had gotten into bed together, he held her, her head on his shoulder, his hand wrapped around hers, it had been so sweet and innocent, for the first time in her life, she felt adored. For the longest time they stared into each other's eyes, not speaking, until sleep had claimed her.

Now, here she was, in his house, in his bed, with no boy nearby. She lets her head fall into her hands, feeling oddly emotional. A knock on the door makes her head jerk up and disappointment swells like a black hole when Gemma enters the room. Light from the hall floods in, Tara squints at the woman before her, waiting for her eyes to adjust.

"Hi," Gemma's voice is timid, but Tara knows the woman before her is anything but. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a train bulldozed me," Tara answers truthfully, when Gemma doesn't reply she's asks the most pressing thing on her mind, "where's Jax?"

"Clubhouse, they had business to take of." The way Gemma says it, like an accusation, makes Tara shudder.

Both woman and teenager eye each other. If Tara is honest, she's terrified of Gemma, always has been - the woman is a force to be reckoned with. Tara doesn't want to play with that fire, but if she has to, she knows Jax is worth getting burned for.

Gemma is worried about Tara being in her sons life, the rage, the guilt, the emotions that displayed themselves on her sons face at the idea of someone hurting Tara, the fact he called a club meeting so they could issue a warning to Tara's daddy, it terrified her. It wasn't just teenage lust between these two, he had the girl in his bed after she was attacked to comfort her, for her protection, to keep her away from her daddy, not to try and bed her. That, is a sign in itself.

"The clubhouse? This late?" Tara asks because she can't think of anything else to say, and wants to slice the atmosphere of hostility.

Gemma's face hardens, "are you questioning my parenting?"

"N-no" Tara stammers, "not at all, that's not-" she stops, deciding it's better not to defend herself.

Gemma walks over to bed and sits down next to her, Tara shifts, uncomfortable at the close proximity. Gemma smells of the same washing powder as Jax, perfume and cigarettes. It's nauseating to Tara, or maybe that's the nervous butterflies that have swooped in, how can two Tellers make her feel so differently? One with love, one with fear.

"Are you okay?" Gemma asks gently, it takes Tara by surprise.

"I think so."

"No. You're not. Your daddy hurt you, a guy punched you, and you slept in a bed with the boy you like then woke up to him gone, with his mother for company. That's one hell of a confusing day, you must be a very confused girl."

Tara blinks at the woman, everything she says sounds like an accusation but she's not sure what she's being accused of. She feels like she's done something wrong, but she can't think of what it is she could have done to upset Gemma.

"Oh, baby." Gemma strokes Tara's hair off her face, Tara flinches back. She has the unnerving feeling she's sitting next to a wasp who's going to sting her with no warning or cause. Gemma drops her hand and suddenly gets up, walking out, not closing the door behind her.

Tara stares into the hall, reeling and confused. She feels threatened, but no threat was issued, if anything Gemma was sweet to her. Maybe it's because her emotions are haywire, maybe she's defensive because of the day that has just happened. She falls back onto the bed and stairs at the ceiling, then with all the courage she has left, she goes to join Gemma in the wait for Clay and Jax.

* * *

"This is bullshit!" Jax screams, he glares at the members of Redwood Original, they stare impassively back. They're all sitting around their table, acting like noble Knights to a King, looking at the kid who stands by the door like he's foolish in his ways. A young prince acting out, it's amusing to them. Jax wants to hit all of them.

"Prospect," Tig warns, reminding him he has no status here.

"Her dad hurt her!" Jax is so angry he can barely see straight, "you're meant to protect the people of this town! Especially young girls like Tara!"

"She's the same age as you," Clay reasons, "she's not said anything happened, we can't just beat a guy up and threaten him with no proof."

Jax stares at him, disbelieving. "Right, because you've never hurt anyone before without proof."

Clay glares at Jax, kids got a mouth on him. "Not someone who has lived in Charming his whole life, and will have no problem to press charges against us. He knows who we are."

"If he feels comfortable pressing charges," Jax says through gritted teeth, "then he's not scared enough, and Unser shouldn't be on such a high payroll."

They all stare at the kid, he's too damn smart for his own good sometimes. Opie towers behind him, Clay thinks it's quite cute, their brother bond.

"Until she admits to anything," Bobby's voice is quiet, he has a soft spot for the kid, and can't stand a friend of his being hurt, but he's got to understand, he needs to know his place. "We can't do anything. Get her to admit to it, and then we'll act."

Jax knows Tara won't do that, he can't just send her back to her house unprotected, her daddy can't continue to get away with this torture of Tara.

"You're just a prospect." Clay says, "you don't get to call the shots, Little _Prince_."

Jax glares at his newfound step-father. "John would have done something," his voice cuts through the room like ice, everyone stills, all eyes are on Jax, shocked.

Jax turns and punches the door, storming out, with Opie close behind him. He hears Clay say "follow them, make sure they don't do something stupid." And it makes his blood boil more because that was exactly his plan - he was going to ride up, and tell that no good son of a bitch to get his shit together. Chibbs and Tig follow them out, Jax briefly thinks about whispering for Opie to make a distraction and running for it, but that could lose him his cut, and he's not _that_ out of his mind.

"I'm going home" he announces to the three people following him, "follow me if you like, but I'm going back to Tara."

Opie, Chibbs and Tig mount their bikes at the same time as Jax, no one says anything, he rolls his eyes. Why is everyone around him so impossible?

The ride soothes him, he drives by Tara's house to see if the Cutlass is there, if the shithead is home, and for some reason he's relieved when he sees it's not. It means her daddy won't know she didn't make it home, he won't hurt her for it.

By the time he gets to the road his house sits on, he's not half as angry, in fact, he's excited to see Tara, to climb into bed with her and have her in his arms. Watching her whilst she slept earlier, peaceful and happy, comfortable to have him wrapped around her, felt euphoric, better than any drug he's ever taken.

He rides into his driveway, Opie continues to ride, back home no doubt, Chibbs follows him. Tig stays with Jax, he dismounts with Jax, he follows Jax up the pathway to the door. Through the window, both men spot Gemma and Tara at the dining table, sipping on coffee.

"Shit" Jax whispers and speeds up his walk, Tig lets out a low laugh, and it takes all of Jax's might not to spin around and punch him.

Both women turn to him as he enters the kitchen, he leans down and places a kiss on Tara's forehead and then kisses his mother on the cheek.

"How did it go?" Gemma asks Jax, but her eyes are on Tig.

"It didn't." Jax grunts, he sits next to Tara and takes a sip of her coffee, she smiles at him and holds his hand, their eyes meet. Her thumb strokes the back of his hand, she's trying to comfort him - whatever tonight was, it was important to him, and he didn't get what he wanted. She doesn't know how she knows, she just does. Gemma watches the interaction with interest, again an adult can't help but see their conversation without words. Tig watches as well, a frown on his face.

"Are you tired?" Jax asks Tara, she's not, but she nods anyway. He looks to his mother, asking her permission, Gemma just sighs and Jax takes that as yes. Slowly, he leads Tara out of the dining room and to his bedroom, he notices she's in his boxers and a grey SAMCRO t-shirt, the lust goes straight to his dick, but he refuses to acknowledge it.

They climb into bed silently, arranging themselves into the same position as they had earlier. Her head on his shoulder, holding hands above his heart, staring into each other's eyes. Green on blue, the same emotion of adoration displayed there.

"Thank you." Tara whispers.

Jax frowns, "for what?"

She gives him a small smile, "for being you. For looking after me, for wanting to protect me."

Jax doesn't know what to say to that, so he says nothing and gives her a soft kiss on the lips, he hopes he is showing her how he feels, because he sure as shit can't tell her.

After a while, Tara speaks, her voice is soft, Jax thinks it's the most beautiful sound. "Your mum said you wanted to have a meeting at the club tonight?"

"She did?"

"Did you want the bikers to scare my daddy?"

Jax stares at this wonderful, intelligent girl. How does she see through him so easily? How does she know what he's thinking even when he doesn't speak? How can they understand each other so well?

"Yeah" his voice is barely audible.

"Did they?" Her voice is scared, sad, he knows without a doubt that for some unknown reason, she doesn't want her daddy hurt at all, she wants to ride it out. With a start, he thinks; _she still believes he's a good man._

"Nah" his fingers are stroking her enclosed hand, he's nervous for her reaction.

She sighs, "because I didn't admit to it, right? There's no proof unless I say it happened, right?"

Jax pulls his head back, shocked, "how did you?-" his jaw clenches in anger, "Gemma."

"I guessed" she says, half-heartedly. It's true, she did. Sure, Gemma prompted, but Gemma also had the foresight to know Tara is smart enough to piece it together without Gemma getting any of the blame.

His eyes search hers, he carefully selects his next words. The idea that Tara can run or leave him for any wrong move, makes him cautious. Not that he's saying she will, he just can't imagine not having _this_ , he doesn't _want_ to not have it.

"I just wanted to scare him, get him to ease up on you. I didn't want to hurt him or nothing." He sounds so lost, so delicate, Tara can't help but kiss him.

"I appreciate that, it's the sweetest thing anyone has done for me, but this is between me and my daddy, Jax. You have to stay out of it."

"Your window" Jax suddenly says, his voice full of hope, Tara is lost at the sudden change of subject. "Each night I can climb through your bedroom window, if you leave it unlocked." Tara stares at him and waits for him to continue, "then I can protect you from him. Then you won't be hurt."

"Jax" her voice is full of affection, but he knows she's about to tell him it's not a smart idea.

"It's perfect, Tara."

Her eyes bore into his, "if he sees you..."

"He won't." He reassures her, "and if he does, he can't hurt me."

"You're not going to take no as an answer, are you?"

"No."

She grins at him and rolls her eyes. The idea of Jax in her bed every night is damn well exciting, she can't rightly so no to that, it's almost blasphemous if she does. "Fine," she playfully growls at him.

He beams his special smile reserved only for her, and it's in this very moment she knows she is, and will always be, in love with him. She kisses him, and he kisses back, but his kisses are reserved, he won't allow her to deepen it. It frustrates her, but she doesn't push it, she wants respect him after everything he's done today, and she knows he's probably not allowing her to deepen it out of respect for her.

"He won't know you were gone tonight." He whispers when she's too tired to make out anymore.

"How do you know?" She mumbles, her voice laden with sleep.

"The cutlass wasn't there, exactly like this morning."

She smiles, her eyes closed, her voice heavy; "you're amazing, you think of everything. You're like my guardian angel."

It's not long until she falls asleep, and Jax watches her in a peaceful slumber with a full heart. He places a kiss on her forehead, and he doesn't know what time he stops staring at her all falls asleep, but he knows if he could, he would, stay like that forever.

* * *

Tig has taken Tara's seat in the kitchen, "boys got it bad," he tells Gemma.

"You think I don't know that?" She snatches up the pack of smokes, taking one out and lighting it.

"Something needs to be done." Tig says, "you should have seen him tonight, demanding we act, like he's already King. He was so blinded by his love for her, he didn't care about the rules of the club."

"He's a teenager, he doesn't know what love is." Gemma snaps, trying to convince herself more then Tig. She's fully aware that she and John founded the club as teenagers. "What did Clay say?"

Tig shrugs, "nothing yet, but he wasn't happy. Jackson is lucky he's a Teller, any other prospect would have been shot for his behaviour tonight."

Gemma glares at Tig, "you threatening my boy?"

"No." There's a pause, "but the girl has got to go."

"On that," Gemma takes a pull and slowly blows out smoke, "we agree."


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry it's taken so long to upload, I've been watching season 2 again. I ship them so much it hurts. This is six months in the future. **Disclaimer: all rights go to SOA.**

* * *

Six months later;

"Hey" Jax whispers, he is surprised Tara is awake. He's doing his nightly ritual of climbing through her bedroom window, it's three in the morning, he's been out with the club, driving a lorry loaded with guns to Oakland.

"Hey" Tara whispers back, laying down her book. She watches as he clambers through, he lands softly on his feet, the moment he's in the room he begins to undress himself, heading to the ensuite for a shower. Tara watches but doesn't say anything, he doesn't bother to close her ensuite door as he showers, she eyes over his naked form and can't help but notice all the bruises covering his back. It's the fourth day out of five he's come in at an ungodly hour, she won't tell him, but she wasn't asleep because she was waiting. She was worried.

Jax doesn't take long in the shower, he's already spent too much time away from Tara and knowing she's awake means he can spend a few minutes actually speaking to her, not just watching her sleep. He exits the ensuite, Tara is giving him that look, the one that says: _I see you Jax Teller, I know what you're up to._ He winces, he doesn't want to have an argument about what he's up to with the club, she knows he can't tell her, and he doesn't _want_ to tell her, no one in their right mind would stick around if they knew. Especially not Tara.

He climbs into the bed and they wrap themselves around each other, both sighing with relief, this is where they're at their happiest. They're silent for a while, revelling in the comfort of each other, inhaling each other's scent. Jax's arms feel strong around her, she has to remind herself he's only seventeen, that she's turning seventeen in a few weeks, they're not yet an old married couple. She's not his old lady.

"I was thinking," Jax's says after a while. His voice is soft, "I'm gonna get a tattoo for my dad, honour him."

"I think he would like that," Tara's voice is a mirror of his own. "I'll come with you."

"I can do it at the party tomorrow, Corrow will be there. Shit, that guy takes his tattoo gun with him everywhere."

"Sure." Tara says, and there it is, Jax can hear it, the uncertainty, the unwillingness.

"You're coming right?" His voice is gentle, questioning, when she doesn't reply it hardens, "you have to come."

"Jax-" she leans her head back so she can look at him, but he cuts her off before she can speak again.

"No, Tara. The club is my home and family, as my girlfriend they're yours too. You have to come."

"They don't even like me!" Her voice is a raised whisper, "why do _you_ even want me there? Your _family_ spend the whole time telling me to leave, whilst you go off with Opie and flirt with the Crow Eaters!"

"I don't flirt-" Jax begins, but he stops when he sees the look in Tara's face as they both remember the last party.

Tara had come late, her daddy had kicked off because the house wasn't clean enough so she had to quickly clean it. She took the Cutlass and ran every speed limit to get there, so desperate to see Jax, so excited

When she got out of the Cutlass and began walking, she was stopped in her tracks at the sight in front of her. There he was, sitting on the picnic bench outside the clubhouse, and in between his legs stood an attractive blonde, a fully grown woman, with big boobs and long legs and barely any clothes, who was stroking his face and running her hands over his body, whilst Jax continued to down his beer - a smirk on his face.

Stupid little spoilt prince.

K"See," Gemma whispered from behind, right into Tara's ear. "You can play house all you want, but he will lose interest, especially when he can have all this. It's a losing battle, so give it up. Let him go."

She knew it was coming from Gemma's mouth, so it shouldn't have hurt so much, but watching him there, some other woman all over him, Gemma telling her to let it go, it broke her heart.

She really was going to march up and beat the shit out of the woman rubbing up on her boyfriend, but then she decided Gemma was right, in that moment, she couldn't understand why she was with Jax. Was all this shit even worth it? So, she jumped into the Cutlass and drove away, seeing Gemma's satisfied smirk, and catching eyes with Opie as she turned away.

"Brother." Opie said, ripping the woman off Jax, "Tara just saw that Crow Eater over you, she's run off."

Bleary eyed, Jax turned to look at the gate, the taillights of Tara's car driving away. "Shit." He slurred, beginning to stumble to his bike - in his addled brain knew he had done something wrong, but he was too drunk to realise it, he just needed to get to her, how could he forget about her?

Opie watched Jax try, and fail, to get to his bike for five minutes before he walked over to him. "I'll drive you in the truck." Opie eyed his stupid friend.

"Where are you going?" Gemma demanded, blocking their way - Opie was now holding his brother up, supporting his entire body weight. He didn't have time for Gemma to interfere but he couldn't say that, because it was Gemma, and she's scary.

"Tara" Jax grunted, pushing his mum to the side. Opie and Gemma stared at each other, Gemma suddenly aware that Opie knows she was trying to push Tara out, and also that he wouldn't say anything because he respects her. She stepped aside and let both boys get to truck but by the time they get there, Jax is passed out and Opie takes him home.

It took Tara two weeks to forgive Jax, fourteen gruelling days where she locked her bedroom window and spent all her time with David, at school, or at the library. Jax really did think she had ended it by the fourteenth day and was going to break her bedroom window if he had to, in order to get her to speak to him. But when he got there it was unlocked, and the sickening feeling that had been increasing in stomach for the two weeks finally lifted.

"You were saying?" Tara asks, her voice feigning innocence.

Jax looks into her green eyes, his heart pumping. He's always scared she's going to leave him and he doesn't know why. "I was drunk," he says weakly.

"So," Tara brushes a hair off her face angrily. "If I go to Hale's party instead on Saturday and get drunk, it's okay for a guy to push up on me? Run his hands all over my body? It's fine, right? Because I'll be drunk? And you can watch on the sidelines whilst David tells you that we shouldn't be together. You'll be totally fine with that, will you, Jax? Because I'm drunk so it's allowed?"

They glare at each other. "You're being difficult," Jax mutters.

"Why?" She's blazing with anger. Jax knew that she hadn't quite forgiven him, but that party was four months ago, he didn't know she was still so angry about it. "Because I refuse to do as I'm told? Or because I won't let you treat me like dirt?"

"Tara," his voice is soft, he says her name with adoration. He looks over her beautiful face and it melts him, he doesn't want to argue with her, he doesn't want her to feel like dirt, he wants her to know she's the only girl for him, the only one he needs, he wants her to know how he feels. "I love you."

She stills, her face clears from anger and she blinks at him. It's the first time he's said it, when she said it he was silent, he kissed her and said nothing. That had been two months ago. She had accepted he was probably never going to admit how he felt, had decided she was okay with that. Now here they were, in the middle of an argument.

"That's not fair." She whispers, looking into his blue eyes. "I love you."

He leans down and kisses her, it's soft, gentle, caring. She deepens it, their tongues beginning to explore. Every time Jax touches her a fire within her begins, how they have managed this long without sex is amazing, although they have done everything but. They were learning together, and Tara was pleasantly surprised when she found out Jax had never had sex, she always thought he lost his virginity when he was fourteen or something, but turns out Jax isn't quite the bad boy he likes to pretend he is.

In that moment, she knew she had been putting it off until h'e said he loved her. She wanted to be loved, she wanted to be able to say her first time was basked in love and with someone she cares deeply about, this was the moment.

She rolls so she's on top of him, he's only in his boxers and she can feel his erection grow underneath her. They break apart and he lifts off her top, she's not got a bra on and it startles him for some reason, when he catches himself, he begins to kiss down her neck to her nipple, she stifles a groan.

"Jax." She whispers, her voice husky, his head snaps to her, their eyes boring into each other. "I want to."

His hands still from gliding over her body, his head whipping up so he can see her.

"Are you sure?" He asks, his eyes boring into her. She only nods and his lips crash on hers.

She can't get enough of him, even though she's tired she doesn't care, she doesn't want sleep. She wants him. And he wants her just as much. Wants to be in her, knowing full well that he probably won't last long at all. She holds him as he puts in it, gently at first, slowly inching deeper and deeper, his eyes on her the whole the time, making sure he's doing it right, doing okay, not hurting her. He leaves her in charge and she loves it. Slowly but surely she bucks up and down, and once she is completely comfortable he flips her. Everything about his touch is gentle, and when he touches her nub it's an immediate release she didn't even know was possible. Everything with him is new, she feels like an inventor. It feels like there is no end to it, even though it lasts a short time and both collapse in amazement when it's over. When they're breathing is slowed and they aren't so hot, Jax pulls her into his favourite sleeping position. Her head on his shoulder, their hands entwined above his heart.

"I love you." She whispers sleepily, sated.

He kisses her head. She has no idea.


	11. Chapter 11

Parts of this make me really happy and parts of this feel rushed. Let me know what you think. **Disclaimer: all rights go to SOA.**

* * *

Jax plans on spending the whole day with Tara. He turns off his phone so SAMCRO can't call him after giving Opie the heads up. He just wants a day with Tara, since he's dropped out of school he doesn't get to see her as much as he would like. It was weird, it wasn't long after Tara was attacked by Jameson that Gemma finally let him quit school. Then Clay made him do the most remedial things all day everyday. For the first month Jax was struggling to find time for Tara, but they figured it out in the end. Most days he goes to school on her lunch, then he picks her up at the end of school or work, and he sleeps at hers every night. Only Opie knows where Jax is at all times, and like a good best friend he's kept his mouth shut when The MC question him. Jax is pretty sure even Gemma doesn't know where he goes at night, and since Tara stormed out of the last party, no one has asked about her. Not that he's keeping her a secret, he wants everyone to know she's his girl. It's Tara that's hiding, and he has to admit it's a hell of a lot easier when they don't think he's ditching them for a girl.

He takes her to Stanislaus National Forest, they drive down in the Cutlass. Tara is pleasantly surprised when he pulls out a picnic basket from the boot and makes a seating area in a field surrounded by trees.

"Jax Teller, never pegged you as the romantic type." She laughs as they take a seat.

"Only for you babe." He grins, sitting next to her and laying out the food.

They're both giddy from the night before, their connection feels stronger then ever, like sex really did make them into one whole instead of two halves. Tara is so happy she feels like she's going to combust and Jax feels like his heart can't contain anymore joy. For the most part, they just sit and stare at each other, beaming whilst they eat. When they're done, Tara crawls over and sits in between his legs, turning to kiss him. Jax deepens it, in desperate need of her again. Tara feels the same way, her lips move over his body as she unbuttons his flannel, he's undressing her at the same time. Neither of them care they're in a public space. They're so wrapped up in each other, they could be in the middle of a SAMCRO party and it wouldn't matter. In the moment, animal instinct takes over and they just need each other. He lays her back gently when she's naked, and once again goes as slowly and as gently as he can, but Tara has other ideas today. She's clawing at him, frantically kissing him, her legs and arms wrapped around him tightly, trying to get him to go as fast as he can. He loses himself in the moment and really goes for it. They climax at the same time, Tara always thought that was a lie and it didn't happen in real life. She doesn't want him to climb off her when he does, desperate for the need to keep him close a little bit longer.

"I love you so much." Jax tells her when they've settled down and re-dressed. She's lying in his arms, in his favourite position.

"I love you too." She smiles up at him.

He watches her for a while, his blue eyes searching her face. She can see his love, it's written all over him, and she knows she's a mirror. They'll never be able to keep it hidden, anyone who looks at them will be able to see how they feel about each other, and she wouldn't want to ever hide the way he's looking at her.

"Come on," Jax suddenly says, gently moving so she can sit up, he hops up quickly, holding his hands to help her stand too. "I wanna show you something."

They pack up their stuff and put it in the Cutlass, when everything is locked away Jax takes Tara's hand and begins leading her into the woods.

"Is this the part where you kill me?"

"Shut up," he laughs his honest-to-God laugh, and it basically kills Tara, it really does, he wouldn't need to use a weapon because a happy Jax is enough to put her in an early grave.

After they walk for ten minutes, the woods clear out and a small lake appears. Tara's mouth drops at the sight, it's beautiful. There is an orange mountain towering over them, it is directly opposite and is scary in its size. It's a complete contrast to the vibrant green grass that they are standing on, and that surrounds the lake. The water is still and crystal blue, like Jax's eyes. Tara, for the first time in her life, becomes acutely aware of what it's like to feel tranquil. A rush of calmness takes over her, and there isn't a single worry in her body. The silence of the place is deafening, but oddly comforting.

Jax, feeling what she feels, let's go of her hand so she can be alone. She knows he's right there, but also it thankful for giving her a moment to stand alone. It's almost as if they are in an in-between place, not quiet heaven, not quite earth. After the amazement, the shock of the wonderful feeling wears off, she turns to him, so many questions written on her face, but Jax is already prepared.

"My father," his voice suits the place they're in, the deepness, the softness. He's looking out across the lake and not at Tara. "He would bring me and Thomas here. I noticed it was mostly when things were hectic with the club, and he needed a break. Me and Thomas would skim rocks, whilst John would sit there," he points at a small, flat patch of grass, "and he would write." He leans down and picks up a rock, skimming it. It bounces five times, then sinks. Jax takes a deep breath. "I don't know what he was writing, I never asked him. But I come here sometimes, when I want a break, time to think, time to grieve." He turns to her, and pulls her into his arms, his hands on her hips. He looks down at her. "I wanted to share it with you. I know it's far away, I know that you won't come here a lot, or ever again, but I wanted you to see it."

Tara hugs him to her, unable to form words that coherently let her explain what she's feeling. How much she loves him, how much she needs him to be happy, how much it means that he opened up to her. She doesn't think words can do it justice so she just holds him.

"I love you," it's muffled by his shoulder so she leans back and looks into his eyes. Every word she speaks next has the utmost sincerity. "I love you with everything that I am. I know we're only teenagers, and all teenagers feel this way about their first love, but we know we're not like that. No matter what happens in our lives, no matter if we end up together or we don't. If we go somewhere or stay here, I will always love you. No one else will compare. It will always be you."

He rests his forehead on hers, their eyes connecting as they have an unspoken conversation of their love. It feels like an immeasurable amount of time has passed when they decide to leave, and melancholy takes over as they walk back through the woods, hand-in-hand, to get to the Cutlass. They get in the car in silence, and as Jax pulls away, neither of them can think of words to comfort the other, it's like they're leaving behind something special. That one moment by the lake changed something. No day will ever be as wonderful, or distil as many emotions as they have experienced just then. They're entwined forever, their love for each other is etched into their bones.

* * *

Jax pulls into Tara's driveway. They spent the entire car journey listening to music and not speaking, which is quite a feat since it's a three hour drive. There's no reason for their silence, they just have nothing to say. Coming back to reality after a day so full of love, it's almost too much to bare.

They sit in the car and stare at her house, the engine still running. She doesn't know where her daddy is, but he wasn't home this morning or last night, and he didn't take the car.

"Do you want me to wait whilst you get ready, or come back soon?" Jax asks.

Tara almost argues that she really doesn't want to go to the party, but it will make Jax happy, and she wants to be there when he gets the tattoo. She just doesn't want the perfect day to be ruined by the inevitable drama of a SAMCRO party.

"Wait. I won't be long." She begins to leave and he turns off the ignition, following her inside.

Her daddy hasn't been home, she knows because the place is still spotless. When he does this it worries her, where could he go for two days without the Cutlass? She goes to his room to double check, and sure enough he's not there. She sighs, then goes to her room to get ready. Jax follows her around like a shadow. Once in her room, which is basically his room, enough of his stuff is strewn across it, he makes himself comfortable on her bed.

"I'm gonna shower," she tells him. He nods as he picks up a copy of Moby Dick and begins to read.

Once in the shower Tara notices blood on her legs, she's mortified, it must be from the sex as she's on the pill. She hopes Jax doesn't have blood anywhere, he would probably endlessly mock her for it. She rolls her eyes to herself, _boys_. It doesn't take her long to get ready once she's out, she throws on a SAMCRO tight fitted tank top with jeans, hoping it will make the MC warm to her. She dabs on a small amount of makeup, mascara and nude lipstick. Soon they're off, walking towards his bike at the end of the road.

"Why didn't we take your bike today?" She asks when they reach it.

"The picnic basket wouldn't have been a surprise," he grins. It's the most conversation they've had since they left the forest. She nods and climbs on behind him. It's dark, she has no idea what time it is but she hopes its late so the party is in full swing and everyone is too inebriated to notice her.

The back of Jax's bike is Tara's sanctuary. Wrapping her arms around him, inhaling his scent, having the wind whip passed as they speed through traffic, it's a natural high.

When they pull into the clubhouse she has a feeling akin to the one when they left the lake earlier. He just grins at her as she dismounts, fully aware of the effect he, and his bike, have on her. She playfully punches his shoulder, he grabs her hand and kisses her knuckles, which, of course, melts her. She pulls him down for a kiss and he's gone for, kissing her with fervour.

* * *

Clay, Gemma and Tig watch from the entrance of the club in dismay.

"I thought you said he didn't see her anymore?" Tig accuses them both.

"We didn't think he did." Clay responds.

"To be fair to her," Gemma whispers, her arms snaking around Clay. She kisses him on the cheek. "It's been six months, we've taken him out of school, made sure he's at the garage forty-five-hours a week, then he does club business, it's not like he has a lot of time. We've thrown Crow Eaters at him, had that Wendy over at every opportunity, he's not gone near any of them, and she's still with him? _That_ deserves respect."

"Not necessarily," Tig says, "maybe they stopped seeing each other for a while."

They all look back at Jax and Tara, they've stopped making out. One of his hands is on her cheek, the other around her waist, they're staring into each other's eyes with love, whilst having a low conversation.

"Does that look like two people who haven't seen each other for a while?" Gemma asks, heading into the clubhouse and leaving both men to stare at the teenagers.

* * *

"What do you mean you've not asked your mom about that tattoo?" Tara is asking Jax, keeping her voice down so no one can hear. There foreheads are pressed together, he has one hand on her cheek, another in her hair. "Are you aware your mom is Gemma? The scariest woman I have ever met?"

"She's not that bad."

Tara raises an eyebrow. Jax rolls his eyes, "it's my body, I can do what I want with it."

"And have her and Clay chop off whatever body part it is that you get tattoo'd? Just ask her Jax. Don't be such a teenage boy."

"What if she says no?" He asks.

"Then get it done anyway, but at least it won't give her a heart attack at the surprise." The moment she says the words she regrets it, how can she forget Gemma has a heart defect? The same one his brother died from? Jax steps back like she's slapped him. "Jax, I'm sorry."

"No, you're right." He tells her, placing an arm on her shoulder and steering her to the clubhouse. "I'll ask her right now."

"Right now?" Tara's voice is suddenly very tight, "with me here?"

"Yup." He's grinning, his arm clamping down as he forcefully pushes her towards the clubhouse.

"You're a sick, sick boy." She laughs and allows him to push her.

He watches as Clay and Tig disappear inside before they reach them. When they get inside the party is in full swing. Music is pumping, alcohol flowing, Crow Eaters everywhere. Opie is sitting in a corner with Donna, Wendy, Kyle, Lowell and Juice. Jax notices that Donna and Opie are incredibly close to each other, they're in an intense conversation, ignoring the rest of the group, maybe tonight is the night he finally does something about it?

Jax scouts the room, looking for his mother. He finds her at the back, near the kitchen, talking to Luanne Delany. He pushes Tara in front as they make their way through the crowds to her, ignoring Tara's protests that she doesn't want to be a part of this. When he reaches his mother, both women fall silent and look at the two teenagers before them.

"Mom," Jax says, his voice loud and clear. "I am getting a tattoo in honour of John Teller. I wasn't going to tell you, but Tara here told me it's disrespectful not to, and I could induce a heart attack at such a surprise."

Tara shoots him the dirtiest look she can. Gemma's eyes fall on the annoyingly pretty girl next to her baby boy.

"You think my hearts that weak?" She says to Tara, "cos I can tell you, it's not."

Jax smirks, pleased with himself. Tara realises what he's done, now his mom has no choice but to agree with him, otherwise she makes Tara look right.

Gemma looks at her son, kissing him on the cheek. "Baby, I think it's a good idea, your dad would be proud."

Jax turns to beam at Tara and it takes all her self control not to kick him in the shin.

"Thanks, Ma" he says, kissing her on the cheek and taking his girlfriends hand to lead her over to his friends.

"You're a bastard." Tara tells him as she takes a seat next to Donna. Jax laughs and swaggers off to get them a drink, he says hello to everyone in the clubhouse and she struggles to take her eyes off him. When she finally manages to, she notices Jax's friendship group is staring at her.

"What?" She asks.

"You look happy together." Juice comments.

"We are." She smiles at him, even Opie and Donna have stopped their deep conversation to look at her. She looks at all of them individually and they stare back.

" _What_?" She asks again, more forcefully this time.

"It's just weird." Lowell says. He's fidgeting in his seat, unable to stay still.

"What is?" She frowns.

"You and Jax." Juice says.

"You're too opposite." Wendy tells her, a slight sneer in her voice. "It don't make a lot of sense. You belong with someone like Hale."

"I like them together." Donna says before Tara can verbally smack down Wendy. "Gives the rest of us hope." Donna throws a side glance at Opie, he blushes. Tara gives her a small smile in thanks.

"That makes one of us." Wendy mutters.

"You got a problem just say it." Tara snaps at Wendy.

It's odd behaviour from the usually empathetic, emotional girl Wendy is. Wendy is jittery, bouncing in her seat, she seems really agitated.

"I ain't got a problem." Wendy snaps back, she looks to Lowell and gives a sharp nod of her head towards the clubhouse dorms, he nods and they both get up and leave. Tara stares after them.

"Ignore her." Donna says when they're out of earshot, "she's always had a thing for Jax."

"What's with her and Lowell?" Tara asks the group.

"Dunno." Opie shrugs. "They been acting odd for a while. Maybe they're fucking."

"I don't think so." Tara mutters, still looking at the retreating figures. She knows a comedown when she sees one.

"Here." Jax hands her a red cup, she can smell the whisky before it even gets near her mouth, she shudders and downs the whole thing before Jax even sits. He sighs, "I'll just go get a bottle."

"Good idea." She grins at him, taking his drink and downing that too.

Between the pair of them, they manage to finish the bottle and drown out everyone else, making out intensely in a drunken haze, whispering 'I love you' to each other and not caring who can hear. It's disgusting to watch.

"Hey!" Tara suddenly shouts.

"What?" Jax grins, she's sitting on his lap, his erection is hard against his jeans. His arms around her, he's blissfully happy.

"Your tattoo!" She grins back, she's so drunk it's a wonder she can speak. "Let's find him! Let's do it now!"

They get up, Jax rearranging himself, and they go on a mission to find Corrow, the tattoo guy. When they track him down, he's sitting between two Crow Eaters having an animated chat. They waste no time pulling him away with urgency, they're somehow more drunk then they were a few minutes ago. For a while they're completely incoherent as they try and explain Jax wants a tattoo. When they finally make sense of it, Corrow agrees to do it.

Jax, to both Corrow and Tara's utter surprise, pulls out a drawing of what he want from his cut.

"Who drew that?" She slurs, snatching it from his hands and looking at it.

"I did." He slurs back, snatching it from her and giving it to Corrow.

The three of them find an empty dorm, Jax sits on the end of a bed whilst Corrow sets up his stuff, the picture Jax drew is laid out next to him. Jax and Tara are grinning at each other, Tara notes this is one of the rare times she feels like a teenager. She's sitting on the desk chair opposite Jax, whilst Corrow gets ready they pass a bottle of Jack between them. Tara watches in amazement when Corrow starts to tattoo Jax's arm. Blood oozes from the pin-pricks and Jax doesn't even flinch, he just looks down at it intermittently, swigs from the jack and grins at his girlfriend.

After the first hour, Tara's mind wonders to the last two days, she dreamily remembers the sex, and the lake. She thinks about Jax and his love, how much she loves him. The fact he loves his father so much he's getting a fucking memorial on his arm. She wonders what she can do to show him she loves him just as much. She needs him to know how she feels isn't just a teenage thing, mark what has happened over the last two days between them. The eternal feelings she has for him. She's so drunk and in love and the happiest she has ever been. She stares at him, and he stares back, she feels like the love she has for him is oozing from her.

It takes two hours for Corrow to finish Jax's tattoo. The entire time he was sipping on a bottle of Jack and now he's basically blind he's so drunk.

"Have you been drinking?" He asks Corrow, suspiciously.

"Nah man, I don't touch the stuff." Corrow says, wiping down Jax's arm. "Wouldn't be able to tattoo at the drop of a hat if I did."

Jax nods and looks at his arm, he's really pleased with it, it's far better then he thought it would be. He shows it proudly to Tara, and she eyes it in completely awe.

"I want one." Tara suddenly announces, both men look at her, Jax in shock, Corrow amused.

"Tara, maybe wait until the mornin'" Jax warns.

"Oh Sh, I'm not drunk." She's definitely drunk. "You're drunk. I'm sober."

"Tara." Jax warns, but he can't think of what he's warning her against.

"Sh." She says, turning to Corrow. "I want a crow." Jax blinks at her. "And I want there to be fine print that says 'property of Jax Teller."

Jax laughs at this, she wants to permanently ink herself as his? "Tara don't be stupid."

"I'm serious." She says to Corrow, "I want a SAMCRO crow, and I want really small writing that says 'property of Jax Teller."

"Come on," Jax slurs. "That's old lady shit."

"Are you saying you don't plan for me to be your old lady one day?" Tara turns to glare at him, her voice also slurred.

"What? No! Of course I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

She's gone insane that's the problem. Her eyes are challenging him, daring him to stop her.

"The problem is you'll regret it." He says.

"You think I'll regret letting the world know I'm yours?" She asks, disbelieving. "Would you regret getting me tattooed on you?"

"No." He says with absolute clarity.

"Exactly." She says, they stare at each other and he can see she's not going to backdown, he gives her a short nod. The sober part of him is screaming to stop her, but secretly he's pleased. The idea of her inking herself for him, in dedication to him, it puts away all his doubts that she's ever gonna leave him.

"Yeah?" She grins at him, and he nods more vigorously. She strides up and kisses him, it's deep and passionate. When she releases him she pushes him off the bed and lies down on her stomach, lifting her top to show the lower half of her back. "Here. I want it here. I want everyone to know I belong to Jax Teller."

"Okay." Carrow says hesitantly. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"Yeah baby!" Jax whoops, handing her the bottle of jack.

"Yeah baby." She repeats as she takes a huge gulp, grinning up at him. Some how she knows she won't regret it, she wants some thing to remember this day. Remember this feeling. Even though she's drunk, it feels right. She beams as Corrow begins his work.

It only takes an hour. After it's done, Tara spends ages trying to look at it in the ensuite mirror but the mirror is too small, she has to settle on the smug look on both men's faces to know it's good, and decides she'll get to look at it tomorrow. Corrow wraps both of the tattoo's up and gives them antiseptic cream, with instructions of how to care for their tattoos.

"It's a hundred dollars." Corrow tells Jax.

"We have to pay?" Tara asks, outraged. Both men laugh at her and Jax pulls out a one-hundred note from his cut, Tara stares at it in disbelief.

"I didn't know you had to pay." She tells him.

"Yeah, yeah." Jax laughs. Corrow is packing his things, Jax walks over to Tara wrapping his arms around her. "Come on, I wanna show off my new tat. And my girls tat. I can't wait until Gemma sees yours."

"Fuck!" Tara shouts, a eerily sober moment in this drunken haze. "Gemma!"

At this, Jax laughs so much he has to release Tara and tears stream down his face.


	12. Chapter 12

They stumble into the hallway in each other's arms, laughing and kissing and generally being happy teenagers. They kiss for so long Tara sobers up considerably, and when they join the party again, people shout and cheer at their appearance, dishevelled, messy and content.

Jax parades his tattoo to everyone, he gets clasped on the back, and kissed on the cheek and told it is wonderful. Tara hides hers, so eager for everyone to know a moment ago, and desperate to keep it to herself now. Jax doesn't say anything, so she assumes he feels the same. She's not ashamed of it, she doesn't regret it, but she knows, now that she is more sober than drunk, it was for her, and for Jax, and no one else. She was declaring herself to him, and how safe and loved he makes her feel. They chat amongst everyone, but stick close together, always making sure some part of their body is touching, Tara with a hand on his arm or their fingers entwined, or Jax snaking his arm around her waist, kissing her on the forehead. They are not two people who touch each other carelessly; every bit of contact is important, a feral need. Gemma, Clay and Tig notice this, their need for each other, the connection between them. Without even knowing it, Tara shifts when Jax does, Jax moves as Tara does. It is nothing anyone in that clubhouse has seen before, something you would believe of twin sisters that have a bond unbreakable. To Gemma and Tig, this is dangerous. Clay, though he can see their bond, puts it down to teenage love that will die out. Look at Gemma and John, they were once similar and soon broken. Now he had Gemma, he knows it won't last, they're just kids.

Tara can feel them watching her, even if Jax is oblivious, and when her eyes meet Gemma's, she sees only disapproval there. If her only sin is loving Jax then she can accept that, and prove she is worthy of Jax's love too. Tara, her jaw set, doesn't look away until Gemma does.

"Hey." Jax whispers in Tara's ear, nudging his nose against her cheek. They've managed to wrench themselves onto a sofa, and sit side by side. Jax was talking to Juice whilst Tara kept her staring contest with Gemma going. Jax's arm is around her shoulders, her hand possessively on his thigh, their legs pressed together tightly. She looks at him, and he nods to the other side of the room. Across from her, in pretty much exactly the same position on a different sofa, is Donna and Opie, kissing deeply, hands roaming. Tara grins.

What a wonderful day to be alive.

"Can we leave soon?" Tara asks, she's tired and she wants to be alone with him.

He searches her face, wary for some reason, though she doesn't know why. "We can stay here? In my dorm?"

Her mouth pops open, "you have a dorm? Gemma allowed you to have one?"

He raises his eyebrows, a grin on his face. "I only stay in it when she's here, otherwise she worries. I don't think anyone is making it home tonight, babe." He looks around the room pointedly, highlighting how drunk or high everyone is. But Tara is staring at his face.

"How did I not know you have a dorm here?" It comes out a little hotly, demanding. The idea makes her uncomfortable, what would happen on the nights he stays here without either of them? Gemma would welcome him to sleep with another woman, she would probably try and force it. Tara quashes the thought immediately, she's trusts him, she knows he loves her, wouldn't hurt her, has only slept with her. He wouldn't risk their relationship and what they have. It's the be all, end all, of who they are now.

He frowns at her, "why would it bother you?"

He knows why, but for arguments sake he wants her to say it. She can't not trust him, she knows him better then that.

"It doesn't." She says quickly, and Jax doesn't press it. Tara isn't exactly shy at saying what she thinks, if it really bothered her she would speak up. He kisses her softly. "I love you, I only want you."

She smiles, "I know. It was a stupid thought."

"Yeah," his face is serious as he stares into her eyes, "it was."

"Come on," she stands, "let's go."

He allows her to lead him to the corridor, then he shows her to his dorm. There's a bed and a few posters in it, but it's evident he never stays there. Which she should already know, since he stays with her every night. They grin at each other as he closes the door. They make love four times that night.

* * *

Tara wakes first. Her head on his chest, holding his hand above his heart which she listens to, it beats strong and steady beneath her. Suddenly, like a slap in the face, she remembers her tattoo. No matter how sober she felt by the end of the night, she wasn't sober at all. She untangles herself from Jax and gently tip-toes to the bathroom. She has to climb up on the sink, her bum almost in it, and twist in an impossible way to be able to see it. When she finally gets a glimpse of it, she hates to admit it, but she loves it. Jax suddenly appears in front of her, his face worried for a split second and when his eyes meet her, his expression clears. He always has that look when he wakes without her.

They stare at each other. Tara doesn't know what to say. The only other person that has this tattoo is his mother, which she got on her heart, for John. It's The Old Lady's tattoo, it's as serious as getting married. It's more permanent than marriage. But that is how she feels about him, permanent, everlasting, serious.

After an immeasurable amount of time passes, Jax opens his mouth. "I'm sorry." His shoulders slump, he looks defeated.

She hops off the sink and strides straight towards him, stopping only when their faces are inches apart. "Don't you dare." Her voice is angry.

He stares down at her, regret on his face, his voice soft. "I could have stopped you."

She reels back. "Why are you so eager to believe I regret it?" She throws her hands up in the air in exasperation,and turns away from him. Walking over to the bed and sitting down. When she looks back at Jax, he hasn't moved but has turned so he is facing her. His look is hesitant, scared. It is pushing her buttons in all the wrong ways, she knows he's thinking that she's on the verge of running, like he always thinks.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Her voice is raised, but not quite a shout. "You think I always have one foot out the door, that I am running away! I am not." Jax goes to speak but Tara rushes on; "I don't regret this tattoo, Jax." Her voice is firm.

She pushes hair hair angrily away from her face, then stands and walks to the one thing in the room that makes it his; a picture of him and her on his bike, he's smiling at the camera, she's leaning over him to kiss his cheek. She turns to him, his eyes are on her, he's breathing deeply.

Her voice isn't raised this time. "I have spent six months fighting your mom and ignoring her digs. Six months being glared at by Tig and Clay when they see me. Six months of not asking too many questions when you roll in at stupid hours of the morning, sometimes covered in blood, and almost always covered in bruises. I have watched you get hit on by crow eaters, pornsluts and Wendy. I have had boys at school make sly digs about me, about you, and about my father. I was suspended for a week because Betty Koans wanted to know if you still kissed the same, and I gave her a black eye. And yet Jax, I am still here." She shakes her head, Jax thinks she's about to cry. "I don't have all the stuff you have going on, I don't have a great family and wonderful support and good friends. I have you. I have David. And I have a drunk daddy. That's it. So quit acting like I'm gonna run away from you, like I can't handle you, or your life. Everyone in town knows you're outlaws, I've known you my whole goddamn life and I chose you everyday because that is what love is. Choosing someone. You don't just fall in love and it's easy. No, it's really fucking hard, and you have to pick them, you have to choose them every goddamn day." She pauses, Jax stays staring at her. Her arm reaches for her tattoo and the back of her hand runs along it. "I don't regret this tattoo, because I plan on being with you for the rest of my life. You're my lifeline, Jax. This tattoo is a symbol of that. You don't get to be sorry for this."

"I love you." It's all he can think to say, "and I'm proud of your tattoo. But your dream is to leave Charming, to get away. It won't be that for me."

She walks towards him, kisses him softly and wraps her arms around his neck. "We have years to figure things out, Jax. But I will always love you, no matter what. This tattoo is just another part of what is ours. What is us."

He nods, she pulls her face towards him. Somehow he will see that he loves her. Somehow he will know. He deepens the kiss, and begins undressing her, they both jump apart when the door to his dorm swings open. They turn, startled, to see Gemma standing there, hands on hips.

"You didn't tell me you were staying here." She accuses Jax, but her eyes are on Tara.

"Ma," he rolls his eyes. Gemma's gaze flicks to him. He doesn't know he's doing it, but he closes the distance between him and Tara, standing so his hand entwines with hers. "Everyone stayed here last night."

"Me and Clay didn't." She quips.

"Everyone else did." He almost wants to tell her that he never sleeps at home, but he doesn't.

"Clay is looking for you, you got Prospect shit to do." She looks at Tara again. "You should leave, but we're having a family dinner tonight and I'd like you to come."

Tara knows if she says no, Gemma will never like her, so she shrugs and says "sure."

Jax kisses her on the head and grabs his clothes, slamming the bathroom door. Tara jumps at it, looking nervously everywhere except for his mother. Gemma looks at Jax's SAMCRO t-shit that swamps Tara. Then at her bare legs. Tara has never felt so exposed in her life. Then, with a knowing nod Gemma walks out of the room, leaving Tara shaking. She hates that Gemma has this affect on her, she wants to be strong, prove herself. She wants Gemma to like her, but she won't put up with Gemma trying to sabotage the relationship either.

Jax leaves the bathroom fully dressed and kisses Tara a quick goodbye. Suddenly she's Alone in the dorm room of the clubhouse and she doesn't know why, but she feels a little empty.


	13. Chapter 13

Tara spends the day alone. She didn't get to see Jax again after he left, so she didn't get to confirm a time for Jax to come and get her tonight, she didn't tell him where she would be. She hopes she can get out of the meal. She knows he'll find her though, she went to the one place she could think of that she felt happy in; the library.

"I'm happy you're here!"

Her head snaps up from her book, and standing over her is David. She hopes the disappointment doesn't show on her face. She's not disappointed to see David, she's just disappointed it's not Jax. Any time spent anyway from him is almost criminal in itself.

David is beaming, Tara could say that he is _glowing_. She scrutinises him, and his smile gets broader. He looks pleased, and giddy too. He sits down excitedly, and leans across the small down table.

In a whisper he says; "I got a girlfriend."

Tara smiles at him. "Congratulations," she says. But her voice sounds tight, forced, fake. "Who is it?"

"Sammy Oswald."

"Sammy Oswald?" She laughs. Sammy is way out David's league, David surpasses her in every single way. She's snide, snotty, spoilt and part of the Oswald family. She's royalty in Charming, as close as it gets anyway, and she acts like it. Constantly walking around like she's got a stick of shit under her nose. "You're joking?"

His smile falls. "I'm not, why would I be?"

"David." Tara can't keep the amusement out of her voice, "we spent most of this year mocking her."

He bristles, "yeah, well, stranger things have happened."

"Stranger than you and Sammy? Please, do tell?"

He holds her gaze, and with a serious face he says "you and Jax."

She rolls her eyes, but as she does she spots the love bite on his neck. "Oh my god, you're serious!"

"Of course I am." He frowns as if she's the one being ridiculous.

"David!" Tara hisses. "She is Satan reincarnated! She goes out of her way to bully people. You go out of your way to _stop_ bullying. How could you be with someone like that?"

He leans back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. His face is stern. "You don't know her."

"Of course I do! Everybody does."

He arches an eyebrow, "the same way everyone knows Jax?"

She shakes her head, "that is so different and you know it. When have you ever seen Jax ruthlessly bully anyone for no reason?"

"I haven't, but he did almost kill Jameson."

"After he hit me!"

"After _you_ hit him."

"You can't compare Sammy Oswald to Jax Teller. That is absurd."

"Is it?"

" _Yes_."

They stare at each other.

Tara recalls her last real encounter with Sammy, it was when she was a cheerleader. Sammy wasn't captain, or even important on the team, just a squad member, but somehow she had the whole team doing her bidding. Tara quit because Sammy went through a period of getting the girls to throw slushies at other girls she considered ugly. She was marking them, Sammy would say, letting them know where they stood in school. Tara couldn't take it anymore and quit. Not three days later she was 'slushie-d' five times in one day, at the last one, soaking and bright blue, she marched straight up and shoved Sammy so hard, Sammy fell and almost broke her nose.

That was the girl David was choosing as his girlfriend? He couldn't be serious.

She couldn't think of anything to say. Regardless of what Jax's social status is, he's the kind of boy who carries old ladies groceries home with her arm in his. He stands up for the bullied, helps blind people get on the bus, plays with children, runs with blood drives, helps his mum with charity stuff, things like that. Jax is wholeheartedly good. Sammy is many things, but good isn't even a slight part of her.

She pushes off from the table and stalks over to the Young Adult fiction section. She knows she should be reading more sophisticated stuff, that she's almost seventeen, but she's also a young adult, and it's just such a good genre. David follows her, he stills when she reaches up to retrieve a book, and he sees she has a tattoo.

The last person Tara wants to see the tattoo is him, she's very conscious when she feels her top rising, and hopes she moves fast enough that he doesn't see, but when she faces him she knows it didn't work.

"What was that?" He asks.

She fakes interest in the blurb of the book she reached for, "what was what?"

"The black thing on your back?"

She looks at him, keeping her tone light, "what black thing?"

"The tattoo, Tara."

She shrugs and says quickly "I don't know what you're talking about." She starts walking to the checkout but he's on her heels.

"Tara," he warns.

"Leave it alone, David." She says through the side of her mouth as she reaches the counter, he doesn't speak.

She hands the book and her library card to Luke Haden, the only other school kid that works at the library. Luke doesn't say anything as he checks it through. They've pretty much never had a conversation, and since Jax, she's lucky if Luke even looks her in the eye.

The moment they step through the doors and outside, David, who was behind Tara the whole time, holds her in place and grabs her top, lifting it to look at her tattoo.

"Let go of me!" She yells at him.

Swimming before him are the words 'property of Jax Teller.' He feels sick. He releases her as he fights off a wave of nausea.

She spins to face him, anger crashes her in waves. "What the fuck are you playing at?"

David straightens, he glares at her, his jaw jumping. "That thing on your back says you are _property_ of Jax Teller. That he _owns_ you. Like you're cattle."

In the distance, Tara can hear a familiar noise, one she should be listening too, be happy about. But all she can see is red, all she can feel is anger. How dare he touch her without her permission, lift her top up, and then chide her about her tattoo that has nothing to do with him.

She crosses her arms, "I _am_ his."

"So, you're like a Victorian housewife then?" He spits. "No brain for yourself? Submissive? Do as your told little Dorris, you might get slapped around otherwise."

She shakes, she never knew she could feel this angry at a friend.

"Another typical biker slut." He tuts, looking away in disgust.

Her hand whips out so fast, neither of them see it, she uses her full weight in the slap and it vibrates up her arm. David steps back, shocked and in pain, his hand immediately goes to his face to caress it. He stares at her, disbelieving.

"You and me," Tara's voice shakes. "We're done. It looks like you and Sammy do belong together. I hope the unfortunate children that you will have, manage to find any escape. Even if it's crank."

She spins on her heel, only to see Jax leaning on his bike watching the scene unfold. She expects him to look happy, but his brow is furrowed, he looks confused and upset. He says nothing as she reaches him, but his eyebrows are raised in question. She grabs the spare helmet on the handle bars and slams herself on the bike, indicating she won't be speaking about it. Jax doesn't move, his head flicks between Tara and David.

David is watching them from the top of the concrete stairs, but doesn't make a move towards either of them. Jax sighs and climbs on the bike, he revs the engine he glances back at David who is stalking off, his back to them. Tara wraps her arms around him and rests her head on his back. Jax isn't sure but he feels her body heave and thinks she's crying. He rides around for longer than he should, but he knows it soothes Tara.

By the time they get to his house, they only have fifteen minutes before dinner is set to start. Gemma wastes no time in getting them to set the table and mix the salad. They do so in silence, Tara's face is stoney, she's withdrawn.

Gemma snaps orders at Tara like she's an idiot, and Tara obeys like the good servant she should be. All she can think is that she only has Jax left. That's all this town has to offer her. Jax. The boy who is tied to the town for the rest of his life. There's nothing else here for her.

What if David was right? What if that is what Jax expects? Someone who just does as she's told, someone who obeys? Gemma certainly seems to think so with the way she ordering her around. The thought almost causes Tara to cry out, tears form and she blinks them away, biting on her lip so she can focus on that pain instead. Jax walks around and pulls her into a hug, he kisses her head and he so badly wants to take her to his room, talk to her, find out what's wrong but it's not worth Gemma's wrath.

Gemma orchestrates it so Tara is sitting between herself and Tig. She makes Jackson sit at the other side, directly opposite Tara, and next to Wendy. Tara is ready to explode. She's gritting her teeth so hard that he jaw is starting to ache, she looks at Jax and she knows he can see it. She's a kettle that has boiled for too long.

The dinner starts nicely, no one speaks to Tara and she's almost thankful for it. She shovels food in her mouth and keeps her eyes on her plate.

Then, when there's a particular lull in conversation around the table, for just a split second, Tig says loudly "so Tara, what are your plans in life?"

Everyone stops talking and looks to her, all interested in her answer. Her eyes snap to Jax, he sits up straighter, the last thing he wants is for her to explode here. Her eyes are trained on him, Wendy is running a hand through his hair and Tara is almost certain there is steam coming out of her ears.

"To be with Jax." She says fiercely, but quietly.

Jax feels like his nerve endings are attached to an electric pulse machine, and Tara is the live wire.

Tig laughs, "how cute." He grins around the table.

If Jax could look away from Tara he would glare at Tig, his mother, Clay. He would shove Wendy so her chair topples and would laugh at her sprawled on the floor. He wants to stab her roaming hand with his fork. But he can't tear his gaze away from Tara. He wants her to stay calm but also show them how strong she is.

"I heard you wanted to go to college?" Tig says. "Apparently you and your science teachers think you'd be a real good psychiatrist or doctor."

"So?" She asks, she doesn't want to be rude, but she's fed up and past caring. She really wants to ask how he knows that, her and her teachers had a private conversation a week ago about her grades, getting a scholarship and going to a good college. One away from here.

"Well, there's no good colleges near here. You'd have to go far away for that." Tig reaches out and picks up bread, chewing on it calmly like the whole situation isn't messed up.

"I could come back." She says. Jax frowns a little, his mouth forming down in disappointment. She's too angry to care, how can he just sit there?

"Med school takes a long time." Gemma says.

"Jax is worth the wait."

Some of the guys laugh, one mutters "as if Jax would wait for that." Tara doesn't see who because she's staring into the baby blues of her best friend and soulmate. She considers getting up and walking out, but that would prove the complete opposite of her point. Wendy looks down right gleeful. Tara can feel her heartbeat everywhere, even her toes.

She looks around the table, her eyes on fire, she stares everyone down. Jax almost groans with the knowing of what is to come.

"You don't know me." Tara says, and her voice is scarily calm when her face is blazing. She commands the attention of everyone in the room, it was already on her, but now they're all alert, watching her. "You have every right to question me, after all, Jax is the prince, and clearly in love with me. I could make him see things differently, I already do, and he does me." Jax gives her a small nod as her eyes fall back on him. She continues, "that's must be a scary thought, that I might be able to control him, sway him, tear him away. But hear this: It's been almost seven months now, as teenagers that's a long time, but nothing in how long I plan to spend with him. You have torn us apart, taken him from school, thrown girls at him. Seriously, who the fuck is Wendy to you people, other then someone to torment me?" At this, Wendy's hand drops away from Jax and the big scary, burly men begin to shift uncomfortably around Tara. "You've thrown insults at me and told me it wouldn't work, that I am nothing to him. And yet, here I am, sitting with you, still with Jax. You wanna question me? Fine. But you won't scare me away. I'm not going anywhere. And, if I do chose to do get out of this back-alley swamp of a town, well, that is between me and Jax, and what will happen to our relationship."

Jax is so proud he wants to clap. Everyone else is stunned into silence, staring at the small, unsuspecting warrior amongst them.

Clay is the first to regain himself, he raises his glass and shouts, "to young love!" Everyone around the table follows suit, and Jax and Tara grin at each other. Wendy has the decency to look embarrassed.

Tig and Gemma do not look pleased.


	14. Chapter 14

Gemma asks Tara if she would like to stay the night, Tara reluctancy agrees and only because of the pleased look at Jax's face. He thinks they're accepting Tara, but Tara knows Gemma just wants to keep her close.

Tara really, really, wants to go home. She has school tomorrow, and she wants to see if her Daddy has come back, if not she's gonna have to go to Unser. He should be back by now and the worry is gnawing at her.

She would give anything to be alone with Jax too, the kind of privacy she would get in her house. Not here, she feels like the walls have eyes and ears here. Also, the idea of Jax sneaking out under Gemma's nose, though a small act of defiance, makes her a little happy.

After her speech earlier, no one really spoke to her again. Though Bobby and Clay kept throwing her warm, welcoming looks. It was a step up from the hostile atmosphere earlier, but not enough. Wendy scampered out as soon as the meal had finished, and Tara felt a little sorry for her. She was just a pawn in a stupid game, it wasn't her fault.

Tara stands alone with Gemma in the kitchen, helping to clear up whilst the boys bring plates through.

"Ma," Jax says, laying down the last of the plates, both women turn to look at him. "We're beat, can we go to bed?"

Gemma looks between the two teenagers and nods, "sure, baby." Then, she kisses them both on the cheek. Tara stiffens at the contact, shocked, surprised, uncomfortable. Jax grins at her, like all his dreams are coming true, kisses his mom, and takes Tara's hand to lead her to his bedroom.

Jax is delighted, he undresses for bed with a grin on his face. For him, everything is falling into place. Tara can't reciprocate, she's silent, her face hard. She loves him so much that a jolt goes through her every time she looks at him, but she can't stay in this town just for him. It's years away yet, but she will have to leave one day.

What David said plays on her mind, she could never be a good old lady. Submissive, obedient. Then again, Gemma is none of those things. It occurs to her that if she is to stay with Jax for the rest of her life, she will be the queen of the The MC one day. The thought chills her.

They clamber into the bed in silence, wrapping around each other. Though Jax is happy, he seeks to comfort her, between David and his family - she has had a rough day. He massages her shoulder with one hand and clamps down on her hand with his other, holding it above his heart.

"I love you." He says, because she needs to hear it. She needs to know.

An unwanted tear falls from her, and her voice shakes as she says; "I love you too."

"You had a shitty day."

She chuckles through her silent tears, "yeah. Something like that."

"What happened with David?"

Tara shrugs beneath him. "He saw the tattoo, called me a biker slut."

"Oh." 

"Yeah." She sighs.

They're silent for a bit. "He's a shitty best friend, Tara."

She sighs again, "his hatred of you surpasses his love of me. He doesn't understand why you're an outlaw. I really think you two would be good friends if you both could stop being so pigheaded."

"Pigheaded?" He laughs a little.

"Yeah." She smiles, it's a sad smile.

They lapse into silence again. Alone with their thoughts, in the back of her mind all she can think about is her daddy, but right now she's in Jax's arms, and that's all that matters.

"Did you mean everything you said downstairs?"

She leans back so she can look into his eyes. "Of course I did. I told you that yesterday too. I'm in it for the long haul."

"You have no idea how much that means to me." He takes a deep breath, and Tara steels herself for a 'but', her heart picking up in fear. "I love you. I want to be with you forever. Your tattoo means everything to me, you mean everything to me. I know I don't express it much, but I would be lost without you. I am only me, when I am with you."

She kisses him with force, like his kisses are her air supply. They make love fervently. The feelings they share scare them both, they each feel that if they break up or don't stay together, it will kill them.

Jax rides Tara home in the morning so she can get ready for school. She didn't want him to enter with her, but he's too scared to leave her alone because she's been gone for a few days. They enter her house cautiously, it's dark and Tara knows her daddy hasn't been home. She feels it like a stab to the gut.

"I'll talk to Unser while you're at school." Jax tells her, "I'll come at lunch and let you know."

She nods, frozen in her living room, worry and guilt on her face. He steers her to her ensuite and undresses her, kissing her body slowly. Each kiss wakes her up, distracts her. They have shower sex for the first time of their lives. It's incredible. Tara always thought it would be awkward and uncomfortable, but they know each other so well that it's just erotic.

He rides her to school and kisses her softly just before the bell goes. She runs off and he watches her go in, now she doesn't have David, she has no protection. The thought slices through him and he doesn't leave until five minutes after the bell goes. First, he plans to ride to Opie, then to Unser.

English is dire. David sits in the middle of Sammy and Tara. Both of Tara and David sit as tight as a stretched elastic band. Not looking at each other or acknowledging each other. Sammy narrows her eyes at her boyfriend. Tara fell off her radar years ago, it looks like she has a reason to target her again. If Tara and David have fallen out, then she has no friends to hide behind, and no scary biker here either. Although, what lengths Jax would go to out of school is unknown and scary. Sammy spends the whole class wrestling internally with the idea of taking Tara down a peg or two, and being scared of Jax's repercussions.

When lunch comes around, Tara doesn't hesitate to sit with Donna, Kyle and Juice. Opie dropped out the same time as Jax, much to no ones surprise.

"Where are Wendy and Lowell?" She asks Donna, taking a bite of an apple. Donna shrugs and no one answers. Tara grins at Donna. "So, I saw you and Opie at the party."

A smile spreads across Donnas face and she nods, her voice low so Juice and Kyle can't hear. "I just think he's amazing, you know? He's not like the rest of them."

Tara does know, she feels the same about Jax. "Yeah, I think it's good. You two make sense."

"Thanks, Tara. No one else seems to get it."

Tara shrugs, "no one else gets me or Jax, who gives a shit what they think?"

Donna smiles a big smile at Tara. Tara feels pleased with herself. They eat in silence, comfortable together. Tara pulls out a book and begins reading. She only looks up when she feels Donna straighten, alert.

Jax and Opie swagger towards them looking grim. Tara knows immediately that her daddy is not okay.

All of a sudden, Tara feels like she's been stabbed a thousand times by cold pinpricks. It takes her a minute to realise the feeling is also wet, she turns and sees three cheerleaders standing behind her, grins on their faces, each with slushie cup in their hand. Her eyes fall to David's table, he's looking away, down at his hands. Sammy is grinning at her, she gives Tara a small wave. Tara looks to Jax who has frozen in place, unsure what to do. She looks back to Sammy who's smug grin has fallen as she too, spies Jax.

Jax and Tara look at each other again. From across the food hall, they seem to have the same thought, both of them make a beeline for David's table. Jax grabs and punches David, David doesn't fight back and it's pitiful. Jax can't bring himself to hit him again.

Tara however, has dragged Sammy off her chair by her hair and is sitting on top of her - she jabs her twice to the face. Sammy screams. Tara stands and looks down at the pathetic bully who is rolling around like she's been shot. "I didn't hit you hard, it won't even bruise. Stay away from me, Sammy. Next time, I won't be so nice."

"Nice girlfriend." Jax spits at David.

Tara walks over to him, without a word their hands entwine and Jax knows to get her out of there. Get her home, get her showered and then he'll tell her about her daddy.

Everyone stares after them, in awe and utterly terrified. They don't know it, but they are the king and queen of the school.


	15. Chapter 15

Once Tara is home, showered and redressed, Opie and Jax sit her down in her living room. The air is thick and Tara is struggling to breathe, Jax pulls her against him. Opie busies himself with making them all tea.

"Tell me Jax," Tara's voice is weak, "is he dead?"

"No." His voice is soft, quiet. He raises her hand and kisses her knuckles. "But he is in hospital. He suffered from alcohol poisoning, had to get his stomach pumped."

She lets out a strangled sob, Jax strokes her hair.

"The stress made him have a heart attack." Jax does not want to be giving Tara this news about her only living relative. She's been through it all in the last few months, this is the last thing she needs. He hates her dad for being so selfish, she deserves more.

Opie sets the tea down, he sits in her daddy's armchair and says nothing. Tara gets the feeling that Jax is there to support her, and Opie is there to support him. How would she feel if she was giving this information to him about his mom? She wouldn't be able to get the words out, she doesn't think.

She knows people don't understand. Her daddy is wild, he's a drunk. He's barely there to look after her. But he's all she has after Jax. She doesn't have much at all, but he is part of it. And when he isn't drunk, rare but it does happen, he is a beautiful loving man.

"Is he in St Thomas'?" She asks Jax, no tears have fallen yet and she's proud. Jax nods.

"I'd like to see him." She says, "Jax when we get there, I want to see him alone. I have to."

The guilt that is ripping through her is unbearable. She didn't even look for him, she could feel something was wrong and she didn't even try and find him. No, instead she went to parties and got drunk, got tattoos. She had family dinners with another family, and then got in a fight at school. All the while her Daddy was in hospital with alcohol poisoning and then a goddamn heart attack! What kind of daughter was she? What kind of person? How self-obsessed could she be?

"Tara you can't blame yourself." Jax says sternly. "You didn't know."

"I didn't even look. If you went missing, I wouldn't stop until I found you. My daddy goes and I don't even think to try and find him?"

"Jax isn't a drunk, and he doesn't often disappear for days at a time." Opie speaks up. Tara glares at him, but he's right.

"Do you want me to take you now?" Jax asks. Tara nods.

The moment she is on Jax's bike she feels calmer, less fraught. By the time she gets to the hospital she is completely placid. She is ready. They find her daddy's room, Jax and Opie fall back, letting her face it alone.

Jax doesn't want to, he wants to hold her hand and help her through it. But he respects her too much to go against her wishes.

Tara's daddy looks old and haggard. He is pale and he has all sorts of machines wired up to him. It's terrifying, her daddy has always seemed so big, handsome and strong. He doesn't wake as she holds his hand, a sob escapes her and she uses her other hand to stifle it.

"I am so sorry." She tells him. He doesn't stir. Maybe he is on a sedative?

She sits with him, she doesn't know how long for, and she listens to his steady heartbeat and she watches his chest rise and fall as he breathes, and she cries. She cries for her mother, she cries for Jax, she cries for his father and brother, she cries for David, she cries for her life, what it has been and what it is becoming. She cries so much she feels as though she would have bled the ocean dry.

When the nurse comes in, she confirms her daddy is sedated, that he was agitated so they sedated him for his own good. Tara chuckles, that sounds like her daddy.

When she leaves the room, she feels like an eternity has passed. Jax is sat on a waiting chair outside, he is asleep. There is no Opie in sight. She leans against the wall opposite Jax and stares at him.

She doesn't know how to do this. Be in love with Jax, having to fight tooth and nail to prove herself to everyone, prove that she is worthy, how to keep her grades up, attend school, make friends and care for her daddy. How can any one person do this? Her eyes rake over Jax, over his cut, his blonde hair, she didn't even know love like this was real. She thought it was in fairytales and novels, not real life.

Jax stirs, he opens his eyes and looks at her, like he knew she was there. He gives her a small, loving smile.

"Hey," he says softly. "You okay?"

"Sure." She shrugs because she doesn't know what the honest answer is. He pats the seat next to him and she takes it, the moment she's seated he pulls her into his arms, kissing her on the head. He wishes he could wave a magic wand her make everything good for her, give her all her dreams.

"I love you so much." She says.

Jax stills, that sounds like there is a 'but' coming. She doesn't continue. "But?" He asks.

"I don't know. I'm exhausted Jax. I feel like everything is a constant fight. I don't want to fight anymore."

He nods at her, his eyes all over her face. His heart is pumping. This feels like a breakup, and he can't, won't accept that. "I am fighting along with you."

"Are you?" Her voice is small. "You did nothing last night, you let your mom place you with Wendy, let her hands roam all over you, you said nothing when they questioned me. I just feel so alone sometimes."

"You had to fight that battle yourself. They had to see the you I know. I couldn't step in. Tara, I am here all day everyday for you. I love you. I am fighting with you. I have sat in this chair for four hours to be here for you."

She nods at him and kisses him. She knows he is in this as much as her. Maybe she's trying to blame him for what's happening because that easy, but really it is all on her. Everything she has done has been her choice. She chose this, and he has stood by her the entire time.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." Her voice is sad. "I am going to ask the nurse when he will be awake, and what the plan for him is, then I want you to take me home and hold me all night."

"I can do that." He says.

She stands and wonders off in search of a nurse. He stares after her, he doesn't know why, but he feels like a part of their bond was chipped away in that moment.

* * *

For the prince of an outlaw MC Club, and the daughter of the towns drunk, who is in hospital - they have a very domestic evening. They order in pizza, and watch movies all night. They barely speak. Jax tries to comfort Tara every way he knows how, he cuddles her and kisses her, he strokes her hair and kisses her knuckles. She is comforted. To know he is there helps her massively. He showers her with love and she takes all she can get from it.

When they crawl into bed, Tara never wants to leave it. She wishes she could freeze time and stay there. It's the first time since they had sex, that they don't have sex when they get into bed. Tara soon falls asleep, comfortable and as happy as she can currently be.

Jax doesn't sleep all night. He watches Tara instead, tries to imagine her not in his life, not in his bed, he tries to imagine having sex with someone else, holding someone else and he can't. The idea sickens him, and the fact it sickens him, scares him. Surely it isn't normal to feel that way? All the men in the MC constantly sleep with other women, the idea didn't repulse any of them. He wipes the dribble that seems from her mouth, and kisses her softly on the lips. The thought of having a last kiss with her, ever, makes his mouth go dry. His entire being is wrapped up in this one girl and it's horrifying.

The sun rises too soon, and Tara's alarm goes off too early, neither of them want to move or face the day. Tara doesn't want to go to school and she doesn't want to skip it. Jax doesn't want to leave her side. So they opt to lie in bed and make no decision at all.

Finally Tara kisses him, heaves a sigh and sits up. Jax watches her, unsure of what to say or what advice to give.

"I have to go to school." She says as she gets dressed, Jax nods. "Then I'm going to go and see my daddy. I'll be fine without you if you go to the club for the day."

It's a lie, they both know it. Jax laughs. "You're crazy if you think I am giving you anytime to yourself, let that big brain of yours overthink things, and create problems where there aren't any. I'll take you to school and I'll be there at lunch, and I'll pick you up after. I'm gonna drop by the library and explain your absence yesterday and excuse you for the week."

"Shit, work. I forgot."

"That's okay babe, it what I am here for."

"Have I told you that I love you?"

He grins. "Only a few times, it's nothing I haven't heard before."

She slaps him playfully. He grabs her hands and pulls her onto the bed, forcing her to kiss him. She laughs and it's music to his ears.

He races to school, she's late and he hates it. He didn't care for him because he only has one future, but Tara has the whole world at her feet.

She runs to biology as if she's an Olympic runner, barely kissing Jax goodbye. People in the corridors give her a wide birth. She makes it in just as the last bell goes, and she grins at the teamwork of her and Jax.

Without Jax by her side she feels lost, cold, and she spends the day throwing herself into her schoolwork and counting down to lunch. In English, Sammy is back in her usual seat, and David his. Tara sits stiffly, David has a black eye, but as promised, Sammy looks fine.

David tries to get Tara's attention several times, she ignores him, and when the bell goes she practically sprints away.

Jax is in the food hall by the time she gets there at lunch. She's so relieved to see him, she marches straight up to him, sits on his lap and kisses him with passion. Juice and Kyle yell and holler in jest. She pulls away, laughing, resting her forehead on his. Jax searches her face.

"Thank you." She tells him. "For keeping your promises, for never letting me down, for being you, and for loving me."

He grins up at her. "You make it easy babe." He pulls her in for another kiss.

"Get a room." Opie laughs, they break apart. He's standing with Donna, holding her hand and her food tray. They sit in sync.

Everyone breaks into their own conversations.

"Your dad is getting out in two days, right?" Jax asks Tara in a low whisper.

"Yeah? I mean, that's what the nurse said."

He's wary with what he says next; "Gemma said she can help look after him, so you don't have to miss school or anything."

"Jax, I really don't think-"

"Let us help you Tara, you're not alone." His voice comes out in a plea, and his eyes beg her. If Tara has a chance of saying no, it wasn't with him looking at her like that. She nods slowly, reluctantly and he grins at her. The idea of Gemma in her house, in her dads head, makes her feel sick. There's all sorts of information she can obtain to further destroy her relationship with Jax.

She can't voice this, Jax would never hear of it. He loves her too much. Probably more than he loves Tara. She wishes Gemma could just accept her, it would make everyone's lives so much better.

It's bittersweet when lunch is over, Tara has half a mind to ditch again but Jax won't hear of it. It offends her and pleases her, he wants her to do good. He likes the idea of her going places, it gives her more reason to work hard.

When the day is out, he's there, waiting. She heads for him, kisses him and climbs on her bike. He grins as he gives her the helmet, without a word they head to the hospital and walk hand-in-hand to her dads room.

Tara swings the door open and is startled to find her fathers grey eyes fall on her. He winces at the sight of her, and she knows that he is sober. Her heart fills with joy at the sight of the man she knows and loves as a daddy.

"Daddy!" She tears away from Jax, and he enters the room cautiously. Watching as she gently throws herself into her daddy's arms. Jax leans against the wall next to the door, arms folded across his chest. Her dads eyes land on him over her shoulder, he frowns at Jax. Then beams at Tara as she pulls back to look at him. Jax rolls his eyes, no matter how nice he is sober, this isn't who he really is. He has to remember that. Who is really is, is a drunk bully.

"Sweetheart," her dad says, brushing hair off her face. The physical contact makes Jax tense up, ready to pounce if he hurts Tara. "Don't cry."

"I'm sorry." She sobs. "I am just so happy to see you."

Her daddy smile. "And I, you, sweetheart. How are you?"

"Oh, you know." She says in an offhand way, rolling her eyes. Her dad gives her a sharp nod.

"Tara?"

"Yes daddy?"

"Who is that?"

They both turn to look at Jax. He turns to stand straighter, taller. He wants to be intimidating but look worthy at the same time, it's confusing.

She gives Jax a bright smile, "that is my wonderful, wonderful boyfriend."

"Is that right?" Her daddy asks, he know exactly who Jax is. Where Tara can't see he glares at the boy wearing a leather cut and baggy jeans. Jax glares back, unfazed, and Tara's daddy would be lying if he said it didn't shake him a little.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: Sorry it has been so long, I've been busy and lost inspiration. Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. Chapter 17 should follow soon.

* * *

Tara's daddy is out of hospital in no time, and Tara's mood increases drastically at having her sober father around. Seeing Tara happy around her father only causes Jax more worry. He can't stand the idea that her father will hurt her, which he will, it's in his nature. Gemma has assured her son she won't let it happen, she'll keep an eye on him. But Jax has seen first hand what an addict will do to get their fix, and he has no illusions about who Tara's father is.

It's been almost two months since her father was released, between Tara, Jax and The MC, mostly Gemma, they have a good on-the-watch system. Jax and Gemma take turns during the week whilst Tara is at school, and Jax, Tara, Opie and Donna take lead on the weekends. Tara's daddy hasn't exactly been graceful throughout the whole thing, but none of them care, getting him better is the priority. Jax has also noticed that Tara's father is scared of him, Gemma and The MC in general - which is a good thing.

* * *

One Thursday afternoon, when Tara is at school and it's Jax's turn to check up on her father, he isn't surprised when he finds him rooting through the back of a cupboard in the kitchen, pulling out a hidden bottle of whiskey. Tara and Jax had scoured the entire house whilst her daddy was in hospital, and they had gotten rid of thirteen bottles of alcohol, but Jax always assumed there would be more hidden somewhere. Jax runs at the withered man,hes furious. Has he even thought of his daughter who will be home in less than two hours? He yanks the bottle from the decrepit mans hands. Her daddy looks up at him in shock, he was so intent on getting the alcohol he didn't even hear Jax come in.

"You stupid bastard." Jax spits at him, watching him slowly stand up. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Tara's father glares at Jax. His eyes flick between Jax's face and the bottle in his hand. "That's mine," his voice his feeble and Jax lets out a bitter laugh.

Jax unscrews the lid and walks to the sink, making a point of pouring the whiskey away. His face contorted with anger.

"Look," Jax tells the old man as he throws the empty bottle in the bin. He turns to look at him, folding his arms across his chest. He keeps as much distance as he can between them. The old mans grey eyes are trained on Jax, glaring him down, Jax isn't fazed. "I don't give a shit if you live or die, I don't give a shit about you at all, you're lowlife scum. But I love your daughter and she loves you, so I'm gonna protect her from you being a selfish dick. Until drinking alcohol won't kill you, you're not gonna drink it. Once you're healthy you can go back to being the worlds shittiest father, and I'll go back to being the only guy that looks after your daughter. But until then, keep your shit together."

"Or what?" Her father sneers, and Jax resists the urge to punch him.

"Or she'll never forgive you," Jax snaps, her daddy has the good grace to wince. "And she'll live her life being angry and bitter, all because her stupid daddy was too selfish to fight his addiction. Despite you being scum, I think you do love her."

Her father stares at the boy in his house, ordering him around, but says nothing. There is nothing he can say.

"I'm not saying you have to give it up for much longer," Jax struggles to say this to him. He would rather he let the old man rot. "Just long enough that you won't die and your daughter won't come home from school to find your body. She don't deserve that."

There's silence and Jax thinks he's gotten through to the man.

"How much longer?" The old man asks, desperation in his voice.

Jax feels his body tremble with rage, he has a daughter! The most beautiful, empathetic, caring girl in the world is his child, and all he cares about is when he'll be well enough to get his fix? How was he even allowed to breed in the first place? It takes all of Jax's self restraint not to hit the pathetic man before him.

"You have a docs appointment tomorrow, Gemma is taking you. I'm sure you can ask then."

Jax turns away from the man, storming out of the kitchen, unable to look at him anymore. He has the same shape face as Tara, and the same nose, but Jax sees no real resemblance between the two.

It takes a while before the old man shuffles out and sits in his chair. Jax keeps Tara's bedroom door open where he can see him, but he gets comfortable on her bed and picks up the closest book. It kills him that he can't change this for her.

The next day, Jax is mortified when the Gemma tells him that Tara's father is in the all clear. Tara is convinced that her Daddy is different this time, he's changed, he wants to be better. Jax doesn't tell her about the day before, and her glee when he picks her up from school, and tells her that her father has made a full recovery makes him feel a level of guilt he didn't know was possible. She hops on the bike, desperate to get back to the house and tells Jax to go as fast as he can, laughing as he revs his bike.

"Where's the Cutlass?" She asks as she hops off the bike in her driveway. She looks around at Jax accusingly, he shrugs, hanging his helmet up. "Maybe Gemma has it?" She says, Jax knows Gemma and Clay have gone to a charity fundraiser the Oswalds are holding, so he shrugs again. Tara frowns and heads inside, Jax isn't surprised to find her daddy isn't there.

"Call Gemma" she demands. "He should be here, we should be celebrating."

The air is stiff, Tara also knows about the charity event and Jax's knows she knows. He does as requested.

"Jackson, baby?" The house is so quiet they can both hear Gemma's voice through the phone as if she was standing right there.

"Are you with Tara's daddy?" Jax asks. Jax and Tara are standing opposite each other, their eyes locked onto each other. Tara's heart is thundering in her ears, breathing is becoming difficult. Jax's hands are sweaty with nerves.

"No" Gemma drags out the world. "But I only left him about seven minutes ago, he was excited to see Tara."

"He's not here." Jax's voice is low.

"Well, where could he- that stupid bastard!" Gemma shouts. "He's gone to Lido. He's gone to get drunk."

Tara flinches at Gemma's words. Her world, which has been so perfect for two months, suddenly stills. Of course he hadn't changed, it was childish and futile to think so, but she really had thought that having a near death experience would have changed him. She honestly thought it was different this time.

"Thanks, Ma." Jax says softly.

"Let me know if either of you need anything." Her voice is equally as soft through the phone.

"I will." He says.

"Thanks Gemma." Tara's voice is barely audible as Jax hangs up, he doubts she even heard.

Tara walks like a zombie to her room, fighting off tears that threaten to spill over. Jax silently follows, his heart feels like it's in just as much turmoil as hers. If only he could kill the bastard without hurting her, he would do it in a second. She crawls on her bed, and he follows, wrapping her in his arms wishing he could protect her from the rest of the world. The moment her head is snuggled in the crook of his neck, tears fall. She feels like a child again, heartbroken from her hope of her dad being her daddy. But he's a coward, and he's weak. She cries for the family she had and the family she'll never have again. Jax says nothing, does nothing, just holds her, strokes her hair, tries to soothe her with his love. He hopes it's working.

It takes longer then Jax is expecting for her to calm, and finally she falls asleep, her breath evening out. Jax strokes her hair, willing himself to sleep too, he listens to her breath and matches his with hers, trying to calm his beating heart, the anxiety of what effect this will have on her.

* * *

Her daddy doesn't come home until three am, he crashes into her room, startling both from their slumber.

"You!" He slurs, pointing at Jax. _Finally, he's grown some balls_ , Jax thinks. Rage floods him like never before, the very idea that he thinks he can do this to Tara makes Jax feel murderous.

Jax hops up from the bed, Tara tugging at his arm. "Please," She begs Jax. "He's not worth it."

Her fathers cold eyes fall to her, Jax stands between the both, poised to strike if her daddy tries to touch her.

" _You_ aren't worth it, you're scum, biker trash. You thought I would stay sober, _good_ , for a criminals whore?" Her daddy lets out a mirthless laugh. "Easy pussy is nice for boys like him, but it's not welcome in my house."

Jax hears Tara's breath hitch, his fists ball and he takes slow even breaths, if he beats her daddy Tara will never forgive him, he knows that.

"I suggest you go to sleep." Jax says through gritted teeth. "Before you have to get your jaw wired after I break it."

"How terrifying." Her dad snorts, glaring at Jax. "You're a child, you don't scare me."

"I know you're not stupid." Jax tells him. "You hurt me, you hurt her, you'll have the whole MC on your back. It's not wise."

The two men stare at each other, Tara watches the power struggle with her heart hammering all over her body. She can feel it everywhere, she fears for her daddy and she fears that Jax will kill him, landing himself in prison, and taking everything from her. A small part of her wants Jax to beat him, give him the smack down he so richly deserves. But the biggest part of her knows she wouldn't forgive Jax if he did, and she hates herself for it.

Suddenly, neither of them expecting it at all, Tara's daddy lunges at Jax. His fist connects with Jax's face and Jax falls back, hitting his head against the wall. Tara screams, jumping up and flinging herself between the two men. Guarding over Jax's unconscious body. Her daddy reaches out, his hands closing around her neck, seizing her by the throat, restricting her breathing. He spins her away from Jax and slams her against the wall. She claws at his hands, and kicks him with bare feet, but it does nothing. She stares at her daddy, disbelieving this is happening. It's a nightmare. Just yesterday everything was perfect. Her daddy squeezes harder, his face turning red with amount of effort he's putting into strangling her.

"Daddy" she squeaks out, but he doesn't seem to recognise her. He slams her against the wall again, then his head suddenly disappears. Or, at least, that's what it looks like from her angle. His hands release her and she slides to the floor, it isn't until she reaches it, gasping for air, the ringing in hear ears stopping, that she sees Jax on top of her Daddy, pummelling the life out of him.

Jax glances over at her, and the sight, a gasping Tara, bruises already forming around her neck, it makes him stop from killing her father. This is the last thing she needs to see.

Her daddy lets out a groan, blood gurgling from his mouth. Jax stands, resisting the urge to kick him in the ribs and rushes to his girlfriend. He cradles her to his chest, if she could, she would scream, but her throat is too damaged.

"Call the ambulance." She tells him, her voice sounding like an old mans. "We both need an ambulance."

Jax does as he's told, he would rather call one just for her but he knows he can't do that. Once the ambulance arrives, they decide they have to take them both in for further examination. He calls his mother and Opie. It's four am but that doesn't stop anyone from answering.

He follows the ambulance on his bike, rage and guilt battling like a war inside him. Images of him waking up to see Tara's daddy trying to kill her flashes through his mind and it makes his teeth grind together. What if's run through his head like a mantra. What if he hadn't of woken sooner? What if he had taken Tara to his house that night instead? What if he had pushed the club harder to hurt her father earlier? What if he had awoken to find her dead? What if he hadn't threatened him? What if, what if, what if?

He's all but driven himself mad when he reaches the hospital. The ambulance unload Tara, and she looks around wide-eyed and scared. The expression goes the moment she sees Jax, relief takes over.

"You can't come in here." The doctor tells him as they take her to an examination room.

"Like hell I can't!" He growls.

"I'm sorry." The woman's voice is gentle, kind. "I need ten minutes alone. It will be no longer, I promise."

His eyes fall to Tara, he feels like a caged animal fighting to get free. 'It's okay.' She mouths. He gives the doctor a stiff nod, and the moment they've gone into the room, he punches a wall, screaming in frustration.

"Jackson?" He hears his mother call, he turns to face her. Tears welling up in his eyes. He's almost an adult, but for the first time in a long time, he feels like he needs his mother. She pulls him into her arms, behind her stands Clay, Opie, Unser and Donna. They all stare at him, confused, scared, curious, worried, each a different expression.

His mother pushes him out of the hug, staring into his blue eyes. "What the hell happened?"

Jax recounts the story to the people standing before him. He struggles to tell them about Tara's father strangling her. He struggles to fight back the tears, struggles to hold himself together, he knows he has to be strong for her but he struggles with it all.

"That bastard." Clay growls. "We'll get him, don't worry Son."

Jax gives his step-father a watery stare, "you can't." He says in defeat, his shoulders slumping. "It will make it worse for her."

"She can't stay with him." Donna gasps.

"Where else would she go?" Jax whispers, he's staring at the ground. Gemma can't ever remember seeing her boy so destroyed. Not when his brother died, not when his daddy died soon after, not when she married Clay, he's always been so strong, he always bounces back. Watching Tara almost die has all but blasted him apart. Her heart bleeds for her only son.

"She can stay with us," Gemma says, all heads turn to her, the disbelief palpable. "Don't all look at me like that, we can't send her back to her daddy, can we? He just tried to kill her. She can stay with us for a little while anyhow."

"Ma?" Jax's voice is barely a whisper, it's a broken sob. She pulls him to the nearest chair and holds him. Jax lets tears silently fall as his mother hugs her to him. Gemma knows she has no choice but to accept Tara now. She had hoped her instincts about how her son felt about this girl were wrong, but seeing him like this, she has to support him. It will destroy him otherwise.


	17. Chapter 17

I'm a little bit in love with this chapter.

* * *

"Another!" Tara screams.

Jax looks up from where he's sitting, she's standing at the drinks table of the party they're at. There in some chick from schools house, it's fancy, she obviously has money. Jax doesn't even know how Tara found out about it, but in the last month no party happens without Tara knowing about it. Jax stares at the back of her head, she's not looked at him all night. There's a group of boys around her, David is one of them. Jax rolls his eyes to the ceiling, unable to look at her as she pours another shot for herself.

Collectively, between Jax, Opie, Donna and David, they watch her - they all have a role to play. Jax - the over protective boyfriend, Opie - the bodyguard, David - the voice of reason and Donna - the sympathetic shoulder. Not that it's much use, Tara pretty much pretends all four of them don't exist.

It's been a month and a half since her daddy attacked her, Tara hasn't seen him since or been home, she doesn't know if he's alive, drunk, sober, dead, and she doesn't care. She's completely fallen to the dark side. She goes out and gets drunk every Friday and Saturday, throughout the week she smokes weed, barely attends school and has sex with Jax every opportunity she gets. Jax keeps telling himself she'll pull herself together, but she just seems to be getting worse.

Tonight, she's wearing a low cut crop top, push up bra, and jeans that hang off her hips. She looks like a Crow Eater, it makes Jax's stomach turn. He remembers what he was like when his father died, he was way worse than this, he even cut Tara out of his life because he couldn't handle her seeing him that way. He knows now, how she must have felt, because even though she's there, it's not her. He was dark then, and his father hadn't tried to kill him, he can only guess what's going through head.

He sits with Opie on a sofa, refusing to drink, keeping an eye on Tara, his eyes constantly wondering to the tattoo on her back that's on display for the world to see. Opie is as tight as a wire, his leg jigging up and down, his eyes also never leaving Tara.

A boy snakes his arm around Tara's waist, Opie sits up straighter, David looks to them unsure what to do, Jax tries to ignore it, the boy presses his face into her hair. Jax sighs, knowing what comes next; without warning, without hesitation, Tara punches the boy in the face so hard there's a crunch.

"Don't fucking touch me!" She screams at him, punching him again. Jax and Opie run to her, pulling her away from the cowering boy.

"That's enough of that." Jax growls into her ear, pulling her towards the door. Tara tries to fight him off, aiming a kick at the boys stomach, but Jax is too fast for her and yanks her hard. He releases her once they're outside, he pushes her away from him hard enough for her to stumble. She stands up straight and tries to run back in, but Jax and Opie block the door so she can't. She glares at the two boys, Jax can see that she's considering taking them both on, her jaw set, defiance in her eyes, after a beat she decides against it. Jax sighs with relief, relaxing - Opie remains as stiff as a stick.

"You can't control me," she spits at Jax. "You're not my father."

Jax tries to stop the anger bubbling inside of him. "Believe me Darlin', I know I'm not."

"All men are the same. All of you." She glares at the two boys, her voice a little slurred. "You all want to control me, you all think I owe you something. None of you want me to be me, none of you like who I am."

Jax softens, "I'm just trying to protect you."

"Your _protection_ ," she spits the word with disgust, "lost me my home." The words are like a punch to the heart, Jax stumbles away from her a little.

"His protection saved your life." Opie snaps, crossing his arms against his chest, glaring Tara down.

"It's being in love with Jax that made him snap," she quips back at Opie. "Being a bikers whore, isn't that what he called me before he tried to choke me out?"

Jax is shocked, she's not spoken about it since it happened, if anyone brings it up she walks away, if anyone mentions her daddy she pretends she didn't hear. In school, she's opted to attacking anyone who so much as gives her a sideways look. She's a walking volcano and these are the tremors before she explodes completely. She can't say 'my father' or 'daddy' anymore, she's opted for complete disassociation.

Jax knows she's lashing out at the one person who won't run away from her, Opie knows that too, but sometimes they both just want to leave her alone and let her suffer. Jax and Tara glare at each other, Tara's chest heaving with ragged breaths from the anger she's so desperate to release. Jax is as still as a statute, watching her, waiting for what she's going to do next. To his utter surprise, and Opie's dismay, she throws herself into Jax's arms and starts sobbing. Jax looks to Opie, and Opie gives a nod, heading inside and leaving them alone. Tara clings to Jax and he holds her tight to him.

"Why am I unloveable?" She sobs into his shoulder, her voice demanding.

"You're not. I love you." He whispers, wrapping a hand in her hair, holding her head to his chest. He's breathing deeply, excited that she's talking about it and scared of what reaction it might evoke in her.

"But why can't he?" She wails, "he tried to kill me! He wrapped his hands around my neck, he could feel me dying and he didn't stop."

Jax doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to help. He wants to kill her father, he's ruined the girl he loves. She's cold, she's harsh, she doesn't care about anything anymore and it hurts Jax more than anything.

"Take me home." She sobs, breaking down in his arms.

So he does.

If Jax thought her outburst was an improvement, a step towards healing, to getting his girlfriend back, he was wrong. The next day she barely speaks to him, and when he comes back from working at the garage she's dressed for another party. He sighs and gets ready, letting Opie and David know, Opie brings Donna, and together they all head out. It's a relief to Jax that Tara waits for him instead of going off to these parties alone, despite how she's behaving and what she says, she still shows him little pieces of her that care. And we've all seen first hand what she does when another boy goes near her.

Tara isn't an idiot, she knows Opie, Donna and David are there for her own protection, she knows they're giving up their weekends to babysit her, but she doesn't care. She didn't ask them to do that, Jax did. She's numb, she doesn't have any emotions anymore, only hatred. She doesn't even like Jax, every time she looks at him she feels anger, but he's all she has left so she clings to him. That's what she tells herself anyway. Deep down she knows she loves him, and she hates that she's hurting him, but it's deep, deep down where she can easily bury it.

The party starts like every other; they get there, Tara finds the drinks table and starts downing as many shots as possible, Jax, Opie and Donna go and find somewhere to sit, David glues himself to Tara's side. It's not long before a group of boys crowd around Tara, eager to win her over, Jax pushes down any jealousy he might feel because Tara ignores them and continues drinking. She pours a shot for her and a shot for David, David throws his over his shoulder when she's not looking, he's the only one Tara will really talk to. Jax would be a liar if he said he wasn't jealous of their friendship.

She turns to David and laughs freely at something he just said, Jax's hands ball into fists and he tries to settle himself. David has been a good friend, he came to the hospital the moment he heard about her father, their argument forgotten. He stuck by her side and was respectful to what she and Jax wanted, he reasons with her when she's being particularly unreasonable, he never steps over the line in terms of her and Jax's relationship, he never pushes her more then she needs to be pushed. It hurts Jax to admit it, but right now David is what she needs and he's grateful for him. Once Tara is drunk enough, they both head over to where Jax & Co are sitting. She's smiling at him, a genuine smile and he melts at the sight of it. He doesn't hesitate when she sits on his lap and kisses him, she tastes of whiskey and cigarettes and he doesn't care.

"Gross." A female voice rings out. "Isn't she supposed to be dead and shouldn't he be in prison or something?"

Jax and Tara break apart to find Jameson standing in front of them, his face completely healed, his arm around Sammy Oswald. They're looking down at Tara and Jax with the same look of disgust. Opie jumps up, standing between the two couples.

"Unless you wanna have another facial reconstruction, I suggest you move on." Opie warns, Jameson laughs, a crowd of boys forming behind them. It doesn't take long before they're out numbered three-to-one. Jax and Opie know a losing fight when they see one.

Tara, apparently, doesn't. She gets up with lightening speed and rushes at Sammy, punching her in the throat, Sammy goes down like a led ballon, gasping for air. Jameson rushes at her, but Tara uses the same move on him, whilst he's gasping for air, she kicks him in the balls. He goes down as well. It seems when Jax hasn't been with Tara, she's been learning how to fight like a pro. He can only imagine one person who would be willing to teach her moves like that: Tig.

Another boy rushes at Tara, she lands a kick to his gut, but another two come at her and Jax has to jump in. Opie and David soon follow and a brawl breaks out. With Tara taking out three of them, the odds have changed drastically. Tara picks up a pool cue and smacks the boy attacking Jax with so much force the cue breaks, the boy goes down. Jax grins at her, she's shit scary but she's hot as hell. There's a fire in her eyes he didn't know existed, she looks like she could be Satans wife. She's wild, furious, untameable. Together, she and Jax beat another boy down.

Within five minutes of the fight beginning, the cops have raided the place, Jax, Tara and Opie are arrested. David and Donna aren't, none of them voice it's unfair that David is left out, none of them are rats.

* * *

"You've gotta be shitting me?" Gemma's voice can be heard from the cells, Opie and Jax wince, Tara's face stays stony. She hasn't said a word since the police picked them up. She is, however, holding Jax's hand - which is uncommon since her father. Aside from sex, when Tara is sober she doesn't touch Jax anymore.

"Unser," Gemma's voice is low in warning, "you listen to me and you listen good, I want those kids released. Now."

"Alright, alright." Unser mutters, shuffling into the room they're being held in. Gemma is close behind, she glares at her son, he looks back passively.

"Mommy's here." Unser says snidely, unlocking the door and releasing the teenagers. Jax and Opie laugh, but it dies in their throat when Gemma reaches Jax and drags him by his ear.

"Ma!" Jax shouts, "Ma that hurts! Let go!"

Gemma storms through the police station, the police laughing at Jax as she does. Opie and Tara have to jog to keep up with her. She shoves her son when they're free of the police station and standing on the steps. He straightens but knows to look sheepish, Tara and Opie stand behind him.

"Someone wanna explain to me why I'm being called down here in the middle of the night?"

"Ma," Jax rolls his eyes. "It's hardly the middle of the night."

"It's whatever goddamn time I say it is!" She shouts. "Someone better start talking."

"It's my fault." Tara snaps, crossing her arms against her chest, her jaw set. Jax groans.

Gemma glares at her, "I know it is. You think I don't know what's going on? Your daddy gives you a beating and you go off the rails?" Gemma steps so she's in Tara's face. "I got news, sweetheart, life isn't fair, but the way you're going is making sure you have no future, no way out of here, and you're taking my son down with you."

Tara rolls her eyes, "like gun peddling isn't gonna land him in jail."

Everyone freezes, all eyes on Tara in shock. Jax never told her about the guns. No one ever told her about the guns. Jax pushes his mother out the way gently, so he's in front of his girlfriend. He's so close his chest is almost touching hers.

"What are you talking about?" He demands, his eyes searching hers, his heart hammering in his chest. That kind of information could get her killed.

"Relax _Jackson_." Tara spits, "I've known since we were kids, I spent most of my youth at the clubhouse. That's what the MC does, it's how they get their money... Right?"

"No." He says. "We're just a club, Tara."

"You're gonna stand there and lie to me?"

"I'm not lying to you." He says, but it's too quick and Tara knows when he's lying. He sees the pain flash through her eyes. Jax regrets it immediately, she's too sensitive at the moment, too wild, he never knows how she's going to react, in the way she's been behaving he forgot how well she knows him.

"You're an asshole." Her voice is soft in anguish, she never expected Jax to lie to her when the day came that she would reveal she knew. He thought he trusted her more than that. She thought she was one of them now. But she belongs no where. No family, no friends, and a boyfriend who loves his club more than her.

When Jax says nothing, she spins and runs away from them, they all stare after her. She has no where to go except for Jax's house. He'll deal with her when she gets home, give her time to cool off.

"You stupid shithead, you _told_ her?" Gemma demands.

"Did that look like I told her?" He says hotly, he glares at his mother and his mother glares right back.

"We should go after her," Opie says, there's a nervous hint to his voice.

"We'll see her at home." Jax grunts, not breaking eye contact with his mother.

"Jax," Opie says, causing his best friend to look at him. "She didn't run in the direction of your house, she didn't run in the direction of anyone's house."

Jax glances in the direction Tara ran, with horror he realises Opie is right, fear punches at him. The night has swallowed her, she's no where to be seen. "Fuck!" Jax screams into the air.

"We'll find her." Gemma says, her voice sure, but there's an undercurrent of worry to it. Tara is not herself, who knows what she'll do, where she will go.

* * *

They spend half the night looking for her, but she is no where to be found. Gemma goes home, to see if she's there, and to wait for her if she's not. Jax goes to her old house and climbs through her bedroom window, but no one is home, they go to David's but she's not at his either, without hesitation he joins the search. They check the clubhouse, they check everywhere they can think of and they can't find her. By the time Jax makes it home he's shaking, with anger, with worry, with every emotion a human can feel. Four words play around his skull over and over again; _this is your fault._

He storms up to his room, ignoring his mother who stands as he enters. He has nothing to say, he doesn't understand where Tara could be, he doesn't understand how he doesn't know where she would go. All sorts of images run through his mind, fear gripping him like never before. He kicks the box under this window, and keeps kicking it, shouting, grunting, letting out a months worth of frustration. He breathes heavily and stops when his foot hurts too much to kick anymore, glancing at himself in the window. He almost screams when green eyes stare back at him from the outside. There's a girl sitting on the roof outside his bedroom window.

He scrambles to open it, "Tara?" He asks, dragging her through the window and pulling her to him. Relief floods through him like never before, he lets out a strangled laugh. "Have you been there the whole time?"

"Kinda," she says. Her eyes are red, face blotchy. She pulls out of his embrace and pushes him so he's sitting on the bed. She paces in front of him, Jax waits patiently, watching her as her brain churns, his heart in his mouth. After an eternity, she stops to face him.

"I'm sorry Jax-"

"Tara-" his voice is soft, he says her name like a plea. He knows this is a break-up.

"No." She holds a hand up, stopping him, they stare at each other, "let me finish." She sits next to him, her shoulder pressing against his. They both stare at a Harley poster opposite them, in the corner is Tara's favourite picture of them. "I'm so sorry Jax. I love you so much and since- God, since the _thing_ with my dad, I've been sabotaging my life. I've treated you like shit, taken your mothers hospitality for granted. I got you _arrested_ tonight. I'm just- I'm not a good person anymore. I don't know how to be _that_ girl. The girl I was before my father tried to kill me. I don't even remember what she was like. I just. I don't know how to breathe, it's like he wrapped his hand around my neck and stopped me from breathing. I'm alive but I'm not here. I don't know how to not be angry. How to not hate everything, I don't know how to be the Tara that was in love with Jax Teller. I just-"

"Tara, stop." Jax turns so they're facing each other, he takes her hands in his. "What happened to you- I can't, I can't begin to imagine how that would change a person. You're allowed to be angry, I would be scared if you weren't. I don't mind that you take it out on me, I expect that-"

"You don't trust me!" She bursts.

"What?" He searches her face, he trusts her implicitly. Then he realises what she means. "The guns."

"Yes, Jax, the guns."

"Tara, knowing that kind of shit can get you killed. I was protecting you."

"Bullshit!" She jumps up. "That's such bullshit, you were protecting yourself!"

Jax jumps up too, "that makes no sense!"

"Doesn't it?" She's close to tears, "if you tell me _anything_ , the club can't trust you. If you tell me, I might run. If you tell me, are you more loyal to me or your precious _bicycle_ club? Protecting me by lying to me? By climbing into my room in the early hours of the morning? Making up stories? Covered in blood? Covered in bruises? Lying to me after we're arrested and your mom is attacking me? How is any of that _protecting_ me?"

They stare at each other, Jax trying to form the words that will make her understand, make her see sense. But she's right, he can't ever open up to her about The MC. His loyalty to them runs deep, it's his life, who he is. With a jolt, he realises that's what he is for Tara, she has no one else. How would he feel if he asked the MC a question and they lied to him? How would he feel if they didn't trust him? How would he feel if Tara treated him this way? But if he tells her, and she goes to the police, they'll both be dead. He can't tell her anything, but he won't lie to her again either.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Look, Tara, I can't tell you things about the MC. But from now on, if you guess something, I won't lie to you either. When we got together you knew what the life was."

"You're right, I did." She nods, "but I thought I would be an equal in it."

Jax sighs, "I won't implicate you in things you could go to jail for. A lot of this stuff, it's hard time."

"I'm not running away, Jax."

He steps so they're as close as possible, he looks down at her with love. "It feels like you are." He raises his hand to her lips, brushing his fingers lightly against them. "I always think you are."

She reaches up and kisses him. It's the first real kiss they've shared since her father. He kisses her back with passion.

"I love you," he grinds out against her lips.

"Sex isn't going to resolve this." She murmurs back.

"I know." He whispers between kisses, slowly taking her clothes off. "Do you still love me?"

She lets his cut fall to the floor, and starts unbuttoning his flannel. "Of course."

"Say it." He mutters as he trails kisses down her neck.

"I love you" she says, taking her trousers off. "Show me you love me."

As always, Jax does what Tara asks.


End file.
